Hello there! I have been working what feels like a full-time job planning Matt's and my wedding! There have been a few road blocks and kinks we are working out, but I am either at the computer almost all day working on things, researching or driving places! Along with the wedding planning Matt and I are almost at the point of owning a house! Once that get's squared away we will be working non-stop on the house! On top of that, I am looking for a job. I have had two wonderful interviews with Germanna Community College so far, and I am really hoping to get a part-time job there! Needless to say, I have a lot going on right now.
Through it all somehow I don't feel stressed. I have my moments when things don't work right and I want to cry, but I hold it together and keep going. It's been good. I am blessed to have God's guidance and wisdom in His Word throughout the process, especially navigating things that are new...like being engaged and how that changes things.
I will share that, since Matt and I were courting, which meant we pretty much knew marriage was coming up...I don't feel I have to "work on" our relationship or how to handle things so much with him or in our relationship. We both have been "leaving and cleaving" since we've been together...so I feel like right now it's just the next step for us...it isn't a huge change...just what is natural for us to do now. Especially getting ready to buy a house! I feel so ready to work with him on that part and set up our home together. We know what we want because we've been talking about it for a while. There's no surprises! And that's what I wrote that I wanted in my journal when I was a young teen...I wanted to know the person I'd marry before I married them. I didn't want to have to get to know a deeper side of them, I really just wanted to leave the physical knowledge and living together habits to be the last thing I'd learn about him.
It's been busy and crazy planning a wedding, soon to be working on a house and looking for a job...but I know I am where I am supposed to be :)
Friday, October 10, 2014
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Coexisting vs. Living
Jesus is the only way we can truly accomplish things here on earth. I'm not talking about little tasks like the laundry (although I know sometimes you need Jesus to help you do that Moms). There are things I believe God left up to us to get done. He put a free-will in us, and He also put common sense (used or not) inside of us. It's kind of like the way animals know how to care for their young without anyone showing them. He put this self-maintaining drive in all of His creation. We can get by without asking what to do every second. But without Him, we'd accomplish nothing. Without Him, we wouldn't exist. Without Him, we would merely exist in life, but we would really have no purpose. And this is how some people live their lives...without Jesus, just existing.
I see the bumper stickers that have different religions represented saying "coexist". I agree, if you want to merely exist, yes, accept everything and don't follow or commit to anything. That's basically the message being conveyed. Don't stand for anything, but pretend to accept everything and just merely "coexist".
But I don't want to just exist. I want to live! I want purpose! I want to know why I am here, what I am breathing for, and why I was created! I want my life to be fruitful! Not just for my benefit, but for those around me. I don't want to glorify myself more, I want to glorify God. It's my way of saying "Thanks for creating me. You are amazing and I'll give you my life in return." The awesome things is while I am giving God the credit, He actually in-turn blesses me more because all He really want in the first place was for me to be with Him, and he decides to bless me through me obeying and glorifying Him. You can't loose. Unless, you deny why you are here, what you are breathing for and why you were created. If you deny that, you've missed the purpose of life, and therefore you are just existing and though you may still be breathing, you have lost.
If existing is completely okay with you, and you want nothing to do with living for something, or even knowing the One who created you...okay then. I can't convince you, because I am not you. But if however, you think you may know your Creator and you want to live a full fruitful life in pursuit of your Creator with the purpose of eternal life...there is great news...while He is the Creator, He is also the Redeemer. That means He saves us when we ask. When we come to Him seeking to know and glorify Him and really live a life full of joy. love, peace, truth and forgiveness...He does that in our lives. You can go back to "GO" and collect your $200 :) all you have to do is move your game piece to the right board. It's a game changer, you can't play both at once. But the board is beautiful, full of blessings and joy.
I am so excited about this life God has given me and all the ways I've seen Him work. I am living my life for Him, because He is my purpose. He created me. Everything I have is His. He is the reason I breathe. I know my purpose. And no one can ever take that away from me. It's mine and I am confident in it. And I am so happy, I want everyone else to experience the relief and joy I have. So here I am sharing it. Take it or leave it :)
I see the bumper stickers that have different religions represented saying "coexist". I agree, if you want to merely exist, yes, accept everything and don't follow or commit to anything. That's basically the message being conveyed. Don't stand for anything, but pretend to accept everything and just merely "coexist".
But I don't want to just exist. I want to live! I want purpose! I want to know why I am here, what I am breathing for, and why I was created! I want my life to be fruitful! Not just for my benefit, but for those around me. I don't want to glorify myself more, I want to glorify God. It's my way of saying "Thanks for creating me. You are amazing and I'll give you my life in return." The awesome things is while I am giving God the credit, He actually in-turn blesses me more because all He really want in the first place was for me to be with Him, and he decides to bless me through me obeying and glorifying Him. You can't loose. Unless, you deny why you are here, what you are breathing for and why you were created. If you deny that, you've missed the purpose of life, and therefore you are just existing and though you may still be breathing, you have lost.
If existing is completely okay with you, and you want nothing to do with living for something, or even knowing the One who created you...okay then. I can't convince you, because I am not you. But if however, you think you may know your Creator and you want to live a full fruitful life in pursuit of your Creator with the purpose of eternal life...there is great news...while He is the Creator, He is also the Redeemer. That means He saves us when we ask. When we come to Him seeking to know and glorify Him and really live a life full of joy. love, peace, truth and forgiveness...He does that in our lives. You can go back to "GO" and collect your $200 :) all you have to do is move your game piece to the right board. It's a game changer, you can't play both at once. But the board is beautiful, full of blessings and joy.
I am so excited about this life God has given me and all the ways I've seen Him work. I am living my life for Him, because He is my purpose. He created me. Everything I have is His. He is the reason I breathe. I know my purpose. And no one can ever take that away from me. It's mine and I am confident in it. And I am so happy, I want everyone else to experience the relief and joy I have. So here I am sharing it. Take it or leave it :)
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
Being The Daughter Of A Heart Transplant Patient
Yesterday I had a meeting at a venue and as we were talking to the wedding coordinator I had a moment of realizing that none of this would be happening (meaning planning a big wedding) if my Dad was not here with us.
2 years ago my Dad received a heart transplant. 4 years ago he was admitted into the hospital after having a near heart attack and loss of function. His lungs were full of fluid and he was not making sense due to hardly any oxygen getting to his brain. Our family experienced a "new normal" from that point on. After countless visits to our now beloved INOVA Fairfax hospital, we all became heart transplant experts. Blood pressure, heart attacks, heart functions, heart pumps, diabetes...the list goes on. That time in our family was a great time of testing, but I stand to say...we passed the test. Through little tears in the moment because of all of us needing to be strong for each other, we knew God had a plan, and while it was shocking to have to go through this trying time none of us were prepared for, we were grateful for it. We were appreciative to have the opportunity to serve our Dad by being there for him and our Mom. We were humbled by the knowledge God has given the talented medical field. We were prepared, as much as anyone can be, for Daddy to no longer be with us. God did that. God worked in such a mighty way as to fill us with His CRAZY peace. When I say crazy...I mean crazy! It was so strange that in the midst of such adversity we all just had peace. We knew we were going to be okay. That year I learned the truth of what it meant to actually have faith and not merely just talk about it.
As I looked at my Dad yesterday I almost started to tear up telling this lady that "I kind of don't care what it's like, I just can't believe we are here, I can't believe he is here. This would not be happening for me if my Dad was not with us today. But here he is sitting here." But I couldn't cry. Because I knew that no matter if he was or wasn't here, God was good. I just so happen to be able to do this with my Daddy by my side. When he got sick, I had to be okay with the fact of one day getting married and my Dad not walking me down the isle. But he is here. That doesn't make me any better than someone who didn't get to have that, and I guess that's why I am so humbled by it. I was prepared to not have it. I know how precious it is, but I also know where my faith and trust is. It's in God who is wonderful and perfect no matter if I get what I want or not.
Each and every family has faced some kind of hard thing, and it may look completely different than another. But what I have learned from the trails I have faced is that no matter how big or small the trail...how we respond to the pressure is the true test of our faith. If everything were taken away...would your faith be shaken?? Or would His peace be allowed to abound in your heart??
The peace is CRAZY...I can't even explain it. My Mom and I have tried to explain that peace we had during that time, and there are just no words. It was completely God, and any time I pray...I go back to that...trusting Him beyond what I see...beyond my desire...even my desire to still have loved ones stay on earth...His peace covers it all...it's CRAZY because it doesn't make the desire go away...it just like satisfies it. He really becomes your all in all with no strings attached when you've been tested and your faith stays just as strong as before.
God is good...all of the time!!!
2 years ago my Dad received a heart transplant. 4 years ago he was admitted into the hospital after having a near heart attack and loss of function. His lungs were full of fluid and he was not making sense due to hardly any oxygen getting to his brain. Our family experienced a "new normal" from that point on. After countless visits to our now beloved INOVA Fairfax hospital, we all became heart transplant experts. Blood pressure, heart attacks, heart functions, heart pumps, diabetes...the list goes on. That time in our family was a great time of testing, but I stand to say...we passed the test. Through little tears in the moment because of all of us needing to be strong for each other, we knew God had a plan, and while it was shocking to have to go through this trying time none of us were prepared for, we were grateful for it. We were appreciative to have the opportunity to serve our Dad by being there for him and our Mom. We were humbled by the knowledge God has given the talented medical field. We were prepared, as much as anyone can be, for Daddy to no longer be with us. God did that. God worked in such a mighty way as to fill us with His CRAZY peace. When I say crazy...I mean crazy! It was so strange that in the midst of such adversity we all just had peace. We knew we were going to be okay. That year I learned the truth of what it meant to actually have faith and not merely just talk about it.
As I looked at my Dad yesterday I almost started to tear up telling this lady that "I kind of don't care what it's like, I just can't believe we are here, I can't believe he is here. This would not be happening for me if my Dad was not with us today. But here he is sitting here." But I couldn't cry. Because I knew that no matter if he was or wasn't here, God was good. I just so happen to be able to do this with my Daddy by my side. When he got sick, I had to be okay with the fact of one day getting married and my Dad not walking me down the isle. But he is here. That doesn't make me any better than someone who didn't get to have that, and I guess that's why I am so humbled by it. I was prepared to not have it. I know how precious it is, but I also know where my faith and trust is. It's in God who is wonderful and perfect no matter if I get what I want or not.
Each and every family has faced some kind of hard thing, and it may look completely different than another. But what I have learned from the trails I have faced is that no matter how big or small the trail...how we respond to the pressure is the true test of our faith. If everything were taken away...would your faith be shaken?? Or would His peace be allowed to abound in your heart??
The peace is CRAZY...I can't even explain it. My Mom and I have tried to explain that peace we had during that time, and there are just no words. It was completely God, and any time I pray...I go back to that...trusting Him beyond what I see...beyond my desire...even my desire to still have loved ones stay on earth...His peace covers it all...it's CRAZY because it doesn't make the desire go away...it just like satisfies it. He really becomes your all in all with no strings attached when you've been tested and your faith stays just as strong as before.
God is good...all of the time!!!
Monday, September 8, 2014
Not Of This World-I am His
When God called me to follow Him, He didn't tell me it so I would be perfect, but so that I would be different and not look like the world-I would be His.
When God called me to trust Him, He didn't tell me to because everything would be easy or without difficulty, but because it would be hard and difficult-but He would be glorified and I would be okay.
When God called me to be pure until my wedding, He didn't tell me it was the only way, but that it was the better way-the way He designed it to be.
When God called me to pursue being a stay-at-home mother for my future, He didn't say I'd marry a millionaire, but that if I trusted and obeyed Him-I'd see Him provide beyond my own idea's.
When God called me to speak about purity, modesty, homeschooling, home birth, Moms staying at home, He didn't tell me I would be well-liked, but rather I would be someone who didn't enable, who didn't give up, who didn't fall into the worlds temptations of money and power and pride. He told me I would be different-I would be His.
He is the only approval I need. He is above it all. He is in control. He is God. Not human. I'm glad for Him not being like me, and I am glad He calls me to hard things...and appointed me to His service.
I speak and write for God, not to make people feel good. He said it would be hard, why should speaking and hearing stroke our ego?
TRUTH = HIS and only His.
God is a jealous God.
When God called me to trust Him, He didn't tell me to because everything would be easy or without difficulty, but because it would be hard and difficult-but He would be glorified and I would be okay.
When God called me to be pure until my wedding, He didn't tell me it was the only way, but that it was the better way-the way He designed it to be.
When God called me to pursue being a stay-at-home mother for my future, He didn't say I'd marry a millionaire, but that if I trusted and obeyed Him-I'd see Him provide beyond my own idea's.
When God called me to speak about purity, modesty, homeschooling, home birth, Moms staying at home, He didn't tell me I would be well-liked, but rather I would be someone who didn't enable, who didn't give up, who didn't fall into the worlds temptations of money and power and pride. He told me I would be different-I would be His.
He is the only approval I need. He is above it all. He is in control. He is God. Not human. I'm glad for Him not being like me, and I am glad He calls me to hard things...and appointed me to His service.
I speak and write for God, not to make people feel good. He said it would be hard, why should speaking and hearing stroke our ego?
TRUTH = HIS and only His.
God is a jealous God.
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
Everything Is Awesome!!!! (Engagement Edition)
It was a Saturday after-noon and Matt had been at my house for a little bit playing Sky Landers with Gabriel while I got ready for my birthday dinner. Matt said he wanted to take me to our favorite place in Stafford UMI Japanese Cuisine. I didn't know what to wear, he said we might walk around the strip mall so I decided to not wear heels, and I didn't want to "out dress" him. So I wore whatever was comfortable.
We headed to Stafford and he took a back way to show me how they were changing the road, since we had time. We came to Willa-mere Park he said he used to play soccer at and he asked if I wanted to go for a walk and look around. I was fine with whatever. To me, we were just hanging out. It had been a busy few weeks and I just wanted to spend time with him.
We talked about the park and the baseball fields and we saw a tree just before the soccer fields. The tree was in the middle of a grassy area and looked pretty cool. We were quietly walking up to it and he stopped. I said "what are you doing?" and he got down on one knee....
I like our story with the ring. Back when we were talking about getting married Matt had asked what kind of ring I wanted, and I really did not know because I am not a big jewelry person. I did some searching and ended up finding a heart shape one in the price range I wanted. I went to look at the ring and try it on multiple times (actually pretty much any time I went to the mall!). I saw a few other styles that were cute and my type of personality. But if you know me, you know nothing trumps a heart for me!
After work one day Matt and I were at the mall and we went to look at the ring together. He liked it on me, and that made me feel a little more confident that I might possibly know what I want. But still, I wanted to leave it up to him to make the choice. I trusted he knew me very very well and would pick the perfect ring for me. He never brought it up after that day.
2 days before he proposed I went to Costco in the mall and decided to stop by the jeweler to make sure I knew my size. That's all I wanted to do. The girl there said she would size me but she couldn't discuss anything else with me. I knew a proposal was coming, but whether that meant days, weeks or months, I had no idea! After that I figured he already got the ring, but I had decided to not wonder about it. You see, early on when Matt and I decided we should look into getting married soon, the proposal part I wanted to be completely Matt's idea and I wanted to be surprised. So even if I heard comments made or I started to wonder, I decided to NOT try and figure it out. After he proposed he said he went to the jeweler that same day to finalize some things!!!!! The girl told him I had been there...and it's so funny to think about that now!
The ring is perfect. I am so happy with Matt's choice and how it came together.
After we got done with pictures at the park we went back to the car and Matt had a play list playing for after the proposal. It included "Everything Is Awesome" and "Everything I Do It For You". As we headed to the restaurant he did show me the construction on the road. I was so hungry and ready for our favorite Sushi and to spend time with my now Fiance. A part of me wanted to let my family and friends know and celebrate with them...when we walked into the restaurant we were led to our seating and as we came around the corner into a room the room was full of our friends and family!!!! I was so surprised yet again! It was so great to be able to share the moment with them too!
Matt did such a good job! We had talked about who we would want to be there and I asked for either no one, or everyone. And he managed to do both! (of course this did not include out of state friends and family-but a lot of the people close to us knew about the whole thing! Everyone did such a good job about keeping it from me, even though I decided I didn't want to know!)
And so we had time with everyone and ate....
Then there was an addition surprise for more family to be meeting us at Sweet Frog after dinner!!!! We got Ice Cream and socialized and Matt and I enjoyed the company of the people who have been a part of our courtship from the beginning! Mommy couldn't resist an open chalk board with an event like this......and we (including the kids) documented it on Sweet Frog's board.....
All in all it was a FANTASTIC day!!!! A day I will remember for the rest of my life! A day that Matt and I will look back on and laugh and maybe even cry seeing how our relationship has grown and how much love we are surrounded by.
This is the start of the next chapter! We will continue to keep planning our wedding as we have for months now. There's a marked road ahead, and God is our captain. He will light the way and speak to each of us how to navigate. It's okay to be on a new road, and it's also okay to completely trust God. Doing both, brings great reward.
I'm honored to be an example to those who read this and those who have been watching my life for years and years. Matt and I thank you for your continued support and prayer!
We are real people...and we may be a little silly....
We headed to Stafford and he took a back way to show me how they were changing the road, since we had time. We came to Willa-mere Park he said he used to play soccer at and he asked if I wanted to go for a walk and look around. I was fine with whatever. To me, we were just hanging out. It had been a busy few weeks and I just wanted to spend time with him.
We talked about the park and the baseball fields and we saw a tree just before the soccer fields. The tree was in the middle of a grassy area and looked pretty cool. We were quietly walking up to it and he stopped. I said "what are you doing?" and he got down on one knee....
 |
He said "Mandy, will you marry me? I love you so much!"
I was completely surprised! I did my excited laugh and I couldn't help but hug him. I said "aw. Matt, yes of course!"
I was so happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We took some more photos, including silly ones, with our hiding photographer Becca and we talked about how he had planned it and all the logistics.
After work one day Matt and I were at the mall and we went to look at the ring together. He liked it on me, and that made me feel a little more confident that I might possibly know what I want. But still, I wanted to leave it up to him to make the choice. I trusted he knew me very very well and would pick the perfect ring for me. He never brought it up after that day.
2 days before he proposed I went to Costco in the mall and decided to stop by the jeweler to make sure I knew my size. That's all I wanted to do. The girl there said she would size me but she couldn't discuss anything else with me. I knew a proposal was coming, but whether that meant days, weeks or months, I had no idea! After that I figured he already got the ring, but I had decided to not wonder about it. You see, early on when Matt and I decided we should look into getting married soon, the proposal part I wanted to be completely Matt's idea and I wanted to be surprised. So even if I heard comments made or I started to wonder, I decided to NOT try and figure it out. After he proposed he said he went to the jeweler that same day to finalize some things!!!!! The girl told him I had been there...and it's so funny to think about that now!
The ring is perfect. I am so happy with Matt's choice and how it came together.
After we got done with pictures at the park we went back to the car and Matt had a play list playing for after the proposal. It included "Everything Is Awesome" and "Everything I Do It For You". As we headed to the restaurant he did show me the construction on the road. I was so hungry and ready for our favorite Sushi and to spend time with my now Fiance. A part of me wanted to let my family and friends know and celebrate with them...when we walked into the restaurant we were led to our seating and as we came around the corner into a room the room was full of our friends and family!!!! I was so surprised yet again! It was so great to be able to share the moment with them too!
And so we had time with everyone and ate....
Then there was an addition surprise for more family to be meeting us at Sweet Frog after dinner!!!! We got Ice Cream and socialized and Matt and I enjoyed the company of the people who have been a part of our courtship from the beginning! Mommy couldn't resist an open chalk board with an event like this......and we (including the kids) documented it on Sweet Frog's board.....
This is the start of the next chapter! We will continue to keep planning our wedding as we have for months now. There's a marked road ahead, and God is our captain. He will light the way and speak to each of us how to navigate. It's okay to be on a new road, and it's also okay to completely trust God. Doing both, brings great reward.
I'm honored to be an example to those who read this and those who have been watching my life for years and years. Matt and I thank you for your continued support and prayer!
We are real people...and we may be a little silly....
To God be the glory! His will be done in our lives :)
Our hash tags:
#manfitzengaged #manfitz
Photo's by Becca:
Everything Is Awesome!!!! (Courtship Edition)
My story is something I would consider pretty simple. Ever since I was a little girl I knew God had called me to be a wife and a mother. I had a few other dreams like being a writer and secretary but nothing ever was as important to me as honoring God through a marriage and raising little human beings to love the Lord.
This past year and a half I can honestly say has been THE BEST. I have been in courtship with my best friend. We have been getting to know each other, tackling difficult stuff, and talking and sharing every detail of our lives with each other. When we started courting, we had a vision in mind but neither of us, or even our parents, really knew exactly what God had planned or how it was going to go. Our biggest goal was just to grow, closer to God and closer to each other.
I can remember on our first date. I was so comfortable with Matt, not only did I feel like I could trust him, but I also felt like I could be myself, I felt completely accepted by him. There was no need to pretend we were perfect to each other. After dinner we got coffee and talked for like 2 hours. We shared our testimonies with each other, and also a little bit of the struggles we had. We both shared in a passion for purity and a passion to share Jesus with everyone.
All throughout our courtship we made time pretty much every week to spend time with each others families. Normally, Saturdays we would be at my house and Sundays we would be at his house. Family was already a big part of our relationship.
Ever since I hit my teens my Mom and I have been talking about my wedding. After going to so many weddings and being in weddings I started building what I wanted my wedding to be like.
Also since my teens, I have been learning about marriage. I sat in on women's bible studies and was counseled and taught by many women in my life in addition to my Mom. Through God's teaching I knew the kind of marriage I wanted to have, and in turn the kind of courtship I wanted to have.
I communicated this vision to Matt, and he decided that that's what he wanted too. God had been teaching and prompting us similarly in our teen/adult years so when it came time for us to talk about what we wanted, we were pretty much always on the same page.
Matt is such an encouragement to me, in the exact way I need to be encouraged.
He is funny and silly and makes me laugh every single day!
He loves my family!
He is so sweet, like that one person you want to see and talk to after everything seems to go wrong.
He is patient and kind. We have had our moments of misunderstanding each other and disagreeing, but he never turns away a conversation and he always is filled with kindness and forgiveness.
He calms me down and never yells and if he is ever frustrated, he sincerely apologizes.
He thinks about things before he does them and hardly ever reacts but rather responds.
He doesn't make assumptions about people and how they are going to be or respond.
He has so much respect for his parents and other people in his life.
He is always considerate.
He's so attractive inside and out!
I could go on and on forever....
He loves me so much!
More to come in another "edition".........
This past year and a half I can honestly say has been THE BEST. I have been in courtship with my best friend. We have been getting to know each other, tackling difficult stuff, and talking and sharing every detail of our lives with each other. When we started courting, we had a vision in mind but neither of us, or even our parents, really knew exactly what God had planned or how it was going to go. Our biggest goal was just to grow, closer to God and closer to each other.
I can remember on our first date. I was so comfortable with Matt, not only did I feel like I could trust him, but I also felt like I could be myself, I felt completely accepted by him. There was no need to pretend we were perfect to each other. After dinner we got coffee and talked for like 2 hours. We shared our testimonies with each other, and also a little bit of the struggles we had. We both shared in a passion for purity and a passion to share Jesus with everyone.
All throughout our courtship we made time pretty much every week to spend time with each others families. Normally, Saturdays we would be at my house and Sundays we would be at his house. Family was already a big part of our relationship.
Ever since I hit my teens my Mom and I have been talking about my wedding. After going to so many weddings and being in weddings I started building what I wanted my wedding to be like.
Also since my teens, I have been learning about marriage. I sat in on women's bible studies and was counseled and taught by many women in my life in addition to my Mom. Through God's teaching I knew the kind of marriage I wanted to have, and in turn the kind of courtship I wanted to have.
I communicated this vision to Matt, and he decided that that's what he wanted too. God had been teaching and prompting us similarly in our teen/adult years so when it came time for us to talk about what we wanted, we were pretty much always on the same page.
Matt is such an encouragement to me, in the exact way I need to be encouraged.
He is funny and silly and makes me laugh every single day!
He loves my family!
He is so sweet, like that one person you want to see and talk to after everything seems to go wrong.
He is patient and kind. We have had our moments of misunderstanding each other and disagreeing, but he never turns away a conversation and he always is filled with kindness and forgiveness.
He calms me down and never yells and if he is ever frustrated, he sincerely apologizes.
He thinks about things before he does them and hardly ever reacts but rather responds.
He doesn't make assumptions about people and how they are going to be or respond.
He has so much respect for his parents and other people in his life.
He is always considerate.
He's so attractive inside and out!
I could go on and on forever....
He loves me so much!
More to come in another "edition".........
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Learning through life things
I have never really been a girl to like conflict or change. I definitely like things in order with bright colors and smiley faces. But life isn't like that 24/7. Sometimes there will be mountain top experiences, but on a day to day basis we are always vulnerable to be hurt, unsatisfied and disappointed. Everywhere from our jobs to the people we are in relationships with. It isn't that everything is bad, it's just the pure fact that perfection was in the Garden, and when sin entered the world it became this fight for us. A war was waged from that day for our spirits. Then Jesus came to give us new life through Him. But it is only through Him that we are successful and free from that sin. The war is still waging everyday, but if we try to do it on our own, or we get lazy about it, we might fall into temptation. We can't loose our salvation through Jesus Christ but we sure can not experience the blessings.
Once we are the Lords and set about His ways, the road isn't easy. It's like we are in a foreign land. Heaven is our home. A place with so sin, no pain, no hurt and no hardships. But while we are still here...we have to face that sin that changed everything. The people we love aren't perfect, they have faults...and those faults sometimes come up against us because we are so close to them. It isn't that they are intentionally like that, but it is their human nature, just like our own.
I'm leaning more and more about life things the older I get and the more conflicts I go through. Everything isn't laid out, we have to navigate as we go most of the time, and that can get stressful. Sometimes I find it hard to focus only on what God has for me and not try to do things on my own or in my own strength. Sometimes I fail. And sometimes others don't agree with me even if I am following God. Or other people don't see what God is trying to do, and I feel like the only one who cares about it.
Sometimes I am a trial blazer. But I really don't want to be. I want to be the cheerleader. I don't like carrying the burden of being the first time talker. The only one in the crowd that says "wait, we are doing it wrong!" but sometimes I am, and maybe it's just because other people have a hard time seeing it.
I have a plan in my head of how I want things to go and be set up. But I have had to learn to focus on the most important aspects of that, not the details. And even if the details aren't necessarily what I want, that is my opportunity to trust God and be His workmanship. It is those times of details not going perfectly that I have become a better person. I have had to learn new ways to love. I have had to be an encouragement to someone else even though I felt like I was falling apart. It has been hard. But without change...I would never grow.
This is just the start. I guess God has even more things to change in me and make better. I'm continually being refined by His plans and through prayers. Every time I pray earnestly and give something to Him, my heart naturally opens up and when that happens...I can't help but change in a good way through all that God is doing. If I was blind to it, or I didn't open it up to Him...I'd be so far behind and be the same I was before.
Basically, I am glad for the hard stuff.
The end :)
Once we are the Lords and set about His ways, the road isn't easy. It's like we are in a foreign land. Heaven is our home. A place with so sin, no pain, no hurt and no hardships. But while we are still here...we have to face that sin that changed everything. The people we love aren't perfect, they have faults...and those faults sometimes come up against us because we are so close to them. It isn't that they are intentionally like that, but it is their human nature, just like our own.
I'm leaning more and more about life things the older I get and the more conflicts I go through. Everything isn't laid out, we have to navigate as we go most of the time, and that can get stressful. Sometimes I find it hard to focus only on what God has for me and not try to do things on my own or in my own strength. Sometimes I fail. And sometimes others don't agree with me even if I am following God. Or other people don't see what God is trying to do, and I feel like the only one who cares about it.
Sometimes I am a trial blazer. But I really don't want to be. I want to be the cheerleader. I don't like carrying the burden of being the first time talker. The only one in the crowd that says "wait, we are doing it wrong!" but sometimes I am, and maybe it's just because other people have a hard time seeing it.
I have a plan in my head of how I want things to go and be set up. But I have had to learn to focus on the most important aspects of that, not the details. And even if the details aren't necessarily what I want, that is my opportunity to trust God and be His workmanship. It is those times of details not going perfectly that I have become a better person. I have had to learn new ways to love. I have had to be an encouragement to someone else even though I felt like I was falling apart. It has been hard. But without change...I would never grow.
This is just the start. I guess God has even more things to change in me and make better. I'm continually being refined by His plans and through prayers. Every time I pray earnestly and give something to Him, my heart naturally opens up and when that happens...I can't help but change in a good way through all that God is doing. If I was blind to it, or I didn't open it up to Him...I'd be so far behind and be the same I was before.
Basically, I am glad for the hard stuff.
The end :)
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
good mornings
As I was driving to work yesterday and this morning I realized the best song to make you have a awesome day!
"Everything Is Awesome" Lego Movie Song
There is no possible way to have a bad day when listening to that song and having it play in your head throughout the day :)
"Everything Is Awesome" Lego Movie Song
There is no possible way to have a bad day when listening to that song and having it play in your head throughout the day :)
Monday, June 30, 2014
Sometimes I don't understand God...
Do you ever feel like that?
"God, why did You decide to do things that way?"
"God, that doesn't make sense"
"God, I don't understand"
So many times I found myself asking those questions. I didn't understand why my friends were getting married younger than me, when I had waited so long and studied how to be a God-honoring wife. "Why God? I don't understand.." I was frustrated most times with God, angry because I felt like He didn't realize this passion I had, hurt because I felt forgotten. Sometimes I fell into depression. This went on for a long time.
To those who struggle with wanting to be married, you can probably relate...to those who are wondering why this is such a big deal...it is a big deal. No matter what area you have had questions and haven't understood God...those are your reasons...we have all been there.
Maybe you lost a loved one before you thought they should have gone. And you prayed "God, I don't understand". Or, maybe you lost a wonderful job and it didn't make sense for that chapter to close. Or, maybe you aren't getting any younger and you're still single and you just don't get it. Whatever your reason is, we all have them.
Being in that place of questioning...it can sometimes last only moments, and sometimes it can last much much longer. Having questions, is never a bad thing. It is good to be so deep in something that when it changes or doesn't go the way you thought...it's okay to ask. That's what God created us to be, deep people...passionate people...loving people...devoted people...thinking people. It's okay to question.
The time my questions turned into doubts and anger...was when I let sin into my life. I hated God for a time, I thought He did not know what He was doing and that I knew better. I walked right into a relationship which became an awakening for me to know that I do not have it all together and I can't do things "my way".
The relationship I am in now is not some polar opposite from what I was in before...what has changed is me.
A few years ago, after coming out of a hard breakup I decided to, not run, but sprint to God. I screamed...I prayed...I read...I wrote...I cried...I laid everything I had at His feet. "No more of me God. You'll have to be the One to move...carry me" The day God brought peace to my heart full of pain, I remember still so vividly. I went for a walk, and I couldn't stand any longer, I sat on the grass and as I looked to the sun-set...warmth reached my skin and I closed my eyes and there was a beach, with no one on it...I was floating and I felt the motion of something...something around me....with the sound of the gentle ocean and the warm sun on me, I looked up...and it was God...walking on the beach...holding little me in His big strong hand...the motion I felt was Him walking.
To this day that vision carries me through my days. It was a huge impact for me, and it brought me peace. It was what I needed.
Not too long after this new peace...my Dad's heart failed and he got a heart pump, and a year after that he had a heart transplant. Rushing home when we got the call for the heart I knew where my trust was. I decided, that no matter if my Dad died or lived...God was good. No matter what. The situation didn't make me trust God, I decided to trust God.
I don't understand why God gave my Dad life but yet others die waiting for a heart. I don't get it. But I trust God is holding each and every one of us. And I trust His big, strong hands.
Ask questions. Pray it out to God. But don't forget that His ways are higher than our ways, and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. And He said that He will carry us. The answer to your questions may not be what you thought...He may just give you peace. You may still ask why...but just know that God is trustworthy all throughout time...He is the same yesterday and today...He is good...His ways are higher...so even if you don't understand Him...you can still trust Him...He won't let you down.
God is good
All the time
God is good
"God, why did You decide to do things that way?"
"God, that doesn't make sense"
"God, I don't understand"
So many times I found myself asking those questions. I didn't understand why my friends were getting married younger than me, when I had waited so long and studied how to be a God-honoring wife. "Why God? I don't understand.." I was frustrated most times with God, angry because I felt like He didn't realize this passion I had, hurt because I felt forgotten. Sometimes I fell into depression. This went on for a long time.
To those who struggle with wanting to be married, you can probably relate...to those who are wondering why this is such a big deal...it is a big deal. No matter what area you have had questions and haven't understood God...those are your reasons...we have all been there.
Maybe you lost a loved one before you thought they should have gone. And you prayed "God, I don't understand". Or, maybe you lost a wonderful job and it didn't make sense for that chapter to close. Or, maybe you aren't getting any younger and you're still single and you just don't get it. Whatever your reason is, we all have them.
Being in that place of questioning...it can sometimes last only moments, and sometimes it can last much much longer. Having questions, is never a bad thing. It is good to be so deep in something that when it changes or doesn't go the way you thought...it's okay to ask. That's what God created us to be, deep people...passionate people...loving people...devoted people...thinking people. It's okay to question.
The time my questions turned into doubts and anger...was when I let sin into my life. I hated God for a time, I thought He did not know what He was doing and that I knew better. I walked right into a relationship which became an awakening for me to know that I do not have it all together and I can't do things "my way".
The relationship I am in now is not some polar opposite from what I was in before...what has changed is me.
A few years ago, after coming out of a hard breakup I decided to, not run, but sprint to God. I screamed...I prayed...I read...I wrote...I cried...I laid everything I had at His feet. "No more of me God. You'll have to be the One to move...carry me" The day God brought peace to my heart full of pain, I remember still so vividly. I went for a walk, and I couldn't stand any longer, I sat on the grass and as I looked to the sun-set...warmth reached my skin and I closed my eyes and there was a beach, with no one on it...I was floating and I felt the motion of something...something around me....with the sound of the gentle ocean and the warm sun on me, I looked up...and it was God...walking on the beach...holding little me in His big strong hand...the motion I felt was Him walking.
To this day that vision carries me through my days. It was a huge impact for me, and it brought me peace. It was what I needed.
Not too long after this new peace...my Dad's heart failed and he got a heart pump, and a year after that he had a heart transplant. Rushing home when we got the call for the heart I knew where my trust was. I decided, that no matter if my Dad died or lived...God was good. No matter what. The situation didn't make me trust God, I decided to trust God.
I don't understand why God gave my Dad life but yet others die waiting for a heart. I don't get it. But I trust God is holding each and every one of us. And I trust His big, strong hands.
Ask questions. Pray it out to God. But don't forget that His ways are higher than our ways, and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. And He said that He will carry us. The answer to your questions may not be what you thought...He may just give you peace. You may still ask why...but just know that God is trustworthy all throughout time...He is the same yesterday and today...He is good...His ways are higher...so even if you don't understand Him...you can still trust Him...He won't let you down.
God is good
All the time
God is good
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
My little message to graduates
You have completed a chapter of your life! Your achievement is so wonderful and will be the page turner to the next chapter of your life. God is so good and He has awesome plans for you.
If I had one thing to share with you as someone slightly older, it would be this: It's all about God. You can try and skate around God and pursue your own desires and aspirations, but ultimately, no matter how long it takes for you to realize it, it is all about God. He is the biggest, best, and only concrete thing in your life. One day you might have a bunch of degree's and experience, and maybe even get your dream job, or things may have not worked out the way you thought...it is still all about God. And that is the best thing you will ever learn and apply yourself to. No resume or degree can get you what a life sacrificed to God can get you. With each year, each week, and each day...make it your passion to pursue Him further. He is going to take you exactly where you need to be. Bring him glory and honor. Resolve to do that from this day forward because there will be plenty of things that will come up against you to fight that decision.
Sincerely through our awesome God,
Mandy Scordino
If I had one thing to share with you as someone slightly older, it would be this: It's all about God. You can try and skate around God and pursue your own desires and aspirations, but ultimately, no matter how long it takes for you to realize it, it is all about God. He is the biggest, best, and only concrete thing in your life. One day you might have a bunch of degree's and experience, and maybe even get your dream job, or things may have not worked out the way you thought...it is still all about God. And that is the best thing you will ever learn and apply yourself to. No resume or degree can get you what a life sacrificed to God can get you. With each year, each week, and each day...make it your passion to pursue Him further. He is going to take you exactly where you need to be. Bring him glory and honor. Resolve to do that from this day forward because there will be plenty of things that will come up against you to fight that decision.
Sincerely through our awesome God,
Mandy Scordino
Friday, June 6, 2014
Venting moment about something I'm passionate about
Warning!!! Venting Moment with Mandy...God gives us children and calls us to teach them His Word...period:
If you complain about your kids...I will gladly adopt them if they are such a burden and annoyance to you that you need "your time" away from the children you chose to have!!!!
You want "your time" and to live like your single again...don't get married and don't have kids!
It drives me crazy that parents don't want to be around their children and they can't wait for them to go back to school to an unsafe environment being raised by strangers 8 hours a day!!!
If you don't want kids to be your focus...don't have sex!!! They are Gods children, given to YOU and only YOU to teach, nurture, educate through HIS WORD, and to YES...consume your life...because they are your mission field you signed up for!
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
Learning to "Leave"
Growing up is hard. Things you thought were never going to change start to change before your eyes....things you thought were never going to be a thing end up being the very things that are the hardest about growing up.
I heard about growing up and about being an adult and "leaving and cleaving" and how your parents won't always be there to provide or to warn you...and some things you'll learn by trial and error and you won't be protected from all the stresses of life. You have to grow up at some point. I personally was taking it really hard a few months/weeks ago that I had to "leave" my parents...but the road has been such a blessing for our relationship...it's just different than when I was little...
I am going to be 25 this year and I am learning more and more what it means to be an adult and really what it means to be me. The person God want me to be. My parents are such wonderful parents and I have yet to meet someone that does it better :) I love them to my hearts core. They are a part of my being, not just because they raised me, but because in my time of "growing up" they became my best friends. We disagree sometimes and we don't get each other all of the time...it's hard...but that's what we call a relationship worth fighting for. They will always be there for me no matter what...and I know without a doubt that they will do everything they can to NOT enable me. They will make the hard decision for my future and for my strength by standing by me even if I'm tripping. They speak truth to me when I need it, and keep their comments to themselves when I need to focus. I am so blessed to have parents who really want to see me grow up into a strong woman...and not to be the kind of parents who have their hands in everything I do and brag about me. I'm not some trophy. That isn't what they want. They know the importance of life lessons and they don't want to do me a disservice by controlling me so that I never get hurt. They know you can't grow muscles without lifting a heavy weight and feeling some pain. They have been my cheerleaders my whole life and I am so glad to call them my best friends now. They share so much of their hearts with me, and sometimes I am so happy to just be home and know I can talk to them.
When I was growing up my parents rarely used the "because I say so" card. My siblings and I never lacked information on why certain decisions were not a good idea. Our parents were open with us about their own struggles. As they were becoming humble through God's teaching, they didn't hide that from us. When us kids made decisions we couldn't say "we didn't know"...because our parents shared not only the DON'T DO list...but also the WHY list. We were without excuse. And frankly isn't that the way God parents us?? Hmmm...
There is such a level of respect and love that I think a lot of children miss out on, and frankly parents too.
It is sort of crazy to me for parents to expect respect and love and affection from adult children when those children were never given the chance to get to know their parents as normal people...all their mistakes and hurts were never laid bare before them. You can't expect a new adult to be all honest and gushy with you when you haven't even been humble enough to be raw before your adult children. From the time people are teenagers they are CRAVING relativity. They want stories. They want honesty. They want people to be vulnerable before them. And that energizes them to be open, honest and vulnerable in return. Isn't that why God sent Jesus to earth?? So we would have a high priest who understands and knows??
When I was 12 I decided to not date. This was NOT by the encouragement of my parents. Seriously. My parents taught me how to look at people and the world and to see God's Word and Truth in the daily life we live. I took that and looked around me at God's Word and I saw people were not "guarding their hearts", I saw His truth was not important to them, and I saw that their daily life was in and out of relationships. I didn't want that. I was convicted at 12 that my life needed to have Jesus written all over it, and that there would be no room for the world to write on me. I wanted to be married one day...and I certainly didn't want to be in and out of relationships. I was already boy crazy as it was and that was plenty enough for my emotions to handle...dating would have destroyed me! So I decided that I could get to know guys just by being friends with them...and I held to that until I was 21. I had my first boyfriend and even that relationship as a 21 year old, choosing courtship, not holding hands, not saying "I love you"...it hurt me. But I knew that although that hurt might have been avoided, I learned so much about myself in that pain. And without that pain I wouldn't have sprinted to Jesus with my broken heart. Doesn't God want our good times and our bad times???
Now, I might be married soon. I have found the one my soul loves. Well, God found him...actually he was there for a while...haha. God makes me smile with the way He works things out :) I am now in courtship and both me and my boyfriend are learning what it mean to "leave" based on scripture and the healthiness of our relationship with our parents. It's so awesome to try to honor and obey God at the same time and to be encouraging each other. God is in it all...every conversation and every hard time (you know...the ones that build muscles if you pick up the weight).
My encouragement to teens: You are learning so much right now! You may have made decisions you aren't proud of...or you may not be exposed that much to growing up. Whatever your situation, it is no mistake that you have the parents you do. God doesn't make mistakes. You need your parents (or some kind of guardian) and to be honest, they need you. Sometimes we look at our parents as if they have it all figured out and they are just working and doing their thing and they have to take care of us because they are our parents. First, be glad that they choose to take care of you in a world that kills children on a daily basis because parents are selfish. Your parents choose to have a new human being in their life that they would be responsible for. That's a big weight, and if they are in your life, they chose to bare that weight every day because they're love for you is beyond the stuff of this world. You are worth fighting for. What a blessing to have someone who loves you that much! Second, they do not have it all figured out. It took me actually becoming an adult to realize how beautifully human my parents are. They need encouragement. They cry. They have to speak to themselves to be motivated about getting up in the morning. They are human. And they need to know that someone sees that they are doing their best in their human state. They don't have it all figured out...but they are trying their hardest for you because of love. And your parents need Jesus and the Word of God just as much as you. Share those encouragements with them. Open the Word together. Pray for your parents and with your parents.
My encouragement to parents: I am not a parent. What I have to share is small and it is only based upon what I appreciate from my own parents based on what we've been through as a family.
Don't stop praying for what your children need. Yelling and getting frustrated is the quickest way for your child to not hear a word you say. Being understanding and sharing your heart with your kids is the best thing they will remember and it will stay with them. One day God will call them to leave you. Share with them as much as you can so that they know you have their back. Do not control them...they WILL run away and you'll push them away. God's Word is living and active...use it! Every parenting book and idea that doesn't come from scripture probably won't work. God is the only one who has it together. Let your kids know that. Teach them about God's parenting, not yours. Don't give the impression that you have it all together, one day they will see that you don't. Teach respect. Teach tough love for their safety and benefit not for their gratification or for "feeling good". Be open and honest. They respond to transparency. You were a kid too. They want to hear about that. Teach them what it means to obey God. Show them what being a child of God looks like. And then when they are grown, teach them what it means to be a brother and sister in Christ. You won't always be parenting...hopefully soon they will be your friends.
My encouragement for young adults: Love your parents. Don't let them walk all over you, but love them the way they need to be loved. Feed their Spirit with the Word of God. Don't argue and walk away. Handle situations like an adult, take responsibility for things said. Be CLEAR about boundaries and feelings. Pray for and with your parents and family. Obey God with all your heart and pray for them to understand that you are obeying the Lord and seeking His best. God will fill in the gaps. It might be hard. It might hurt. There might need to be hard boundaries set. Mom might cry. Love will help everyone. You do what you need to do to be the person God is calling you to be. Talk to Mom and Dad...you may inspire them...God might have bigger plans for them too...and your story may help them see that. Listen and love. Everyone is here because of love. If you feel controlled, say something...you're an adult now...you can speak up for yourself without being disrespectful. Don't let it be one time...keep communicating. Every relationship needs communication. Figure out your parents...some info is best not shared sometimes. Love them and share Jesus. Take responsibility. They are trying to figure it out too. Grace, forgiveness and love are wonderful things.
I am still learning what it means to, in a healthy way, "Leave and Cleave". I have asked God to teach me...and He is. He knows each and every person and what they need. And He has plans for each of us. Even our older parents....God isn't done with them. What is God calling you to? How is He teaching you? Are you asking Him to teach you? Remember, no one has it all together. Don't pretend. Be humble. Be open. Be honest. And be vulnerable with those you love. But above all, obey God with all your heart...and He will be there in your situation. Open His Word.
More thoughts...
I still live at home with my parents. Like I said before, my parents have been very encouraging with what growing up means. I don't have chores anymore. They don't "require" me to do things. It's a equal effort. If the kitchen floor is dirty, an adult cleans the kitchen floor. It doesn't matter who...but someone has to do it. I care for my parents home as if it were my own. We, agreeing with each other, have rules for the home that we all abide by. If I have a problem, we talk about it. We are a team now. It's no longer about me "obeying" Mom and Dad...we are partners. This was a lessons we were encouraged to learn when my Dad got sick. They needed me. They didn't "require" me to do things...they didn't give me a "to do list" and expect me to have it done when they got home. It should be whoever is ABLE handles what needs to be done. I was home while my mom was at the hospital with my Dad...I managed the home for a time, I cared for my brother and cooked and cleaned. They didn't ask me to...I did it because it had to be done. I'm a part of the family. I love them. This is what love does. I make dinner some nights because we have to eat. I don't do it because there isn't anything to eat, I do it because I am an adult human being living here too...not because they require it of me. This allows me to be independent and still care for a home without paying rent to someone else down the street. I know it must be hard for my parents having me living here but also being independent. They ask me if I can help with things...but they don't assume I'm available. One day my Dad was trying to see if my Mom could bring the van in for an oil change. They went over days to try and figure out when they could. I offered to take it in for them because I was able and available. But they didn't count on me even being an option. I was able to serve them and do something for them out of the love in my heart and not because I was asked. If they had required it of me...I might not have done it haha. I want to be given the opportunity to make my own decisions...including the decisions to help. And because my parents have never tried to control any of us kids, I feel the freedom to go out of my way to serve them because I know they don't expect it and honestly it makes it more enjoyable for them too, I think. Isn't that how God is with us?? He gives us instruction...but then He allows us to accept for deny it. There isn't a Bible for each age of life....it's one way...choose or deny. But He never FORCES us to love for obey Him. Once we choose to love and obey Him...we are sure of our decision. Walking in confidence.
I heard about growing up and about being an adult and "leaving and cleaving" and how your parents won't always be there to provide or to warn you...and some things you'll learn by trial and error and you won't be protected from all the stresses of life. You have to grow up at some point. I personally was taking it really hard a few months/weeks ago that I had to "leave" my parents...but the road has been such a blessing for our relationship...it's just different than when I was little...
I am going to be 25 this year and I am learning more and more what it means to be an adult and really what it means to be me. The person God want me to be. My parents are such wonderful parents and I have yet to meet someone that does it better :) I love them to my hearts core. They are a part of my being, not just because they raised me, but because in my time of "growing up" they became my best friends. We disagree sometimes and we don't get each other all of the time...it's hard...but that's what we call a relationship worth fighting for. They will always be there for me no matter what...and I know without a doubt that they will do everything they can to NOT enable me. They will make the hard decision for my future and for my strength by standing by me even if I'm tripping. They speak truth to me when I need it, and keep their comments to themselves when I need to focus. I am so blessed to have parents who really want to see me grow up into a strong woman...and not to be the kind of parents who have their hands in everything I do and brag about me. I'm not some trophy. That isn't what they want. They know the importance of life lessons and they don't want to do me a disservice by controlling me so that I never get hurt. They know you can't grow muscles without lifting a heavy weight and feeling some pain. They have been my cheerleaders my whole life and I am so glad to call them my best friends now. They share so much of their hearts with me, and sometimes I am so happy to just be home and know I can talk to them.
When I was growing up my parents rarely used the "because I say so" card. My siblings and I never lacked information on why certain decisions were not a good idea. Our parents were open with us about their own struggles. As they were becoming humble through God's teaching, they didn't hide that from us. When us kids made decisions we couldn't say "we didn't know"...because our parents shared not only the DON'T DO list...but also the WHY list. We were without excuse. And frankly isn't that the way God parents us?? Hmmm...
There is such a level of respect and love that I think a lot of children miss out on, and frankly parents too.
It is sort of crazy to me for parents to expect respect and love and affection from adult children when those children were never given the chance to get to know their parents as normal people...all their mistakes and hurts were never laid bare before them. You can't expect a new adult to be all honest and gushy with you when you haven't even been humble enough to be raw before your adult children. From the time people are teenagers they are CRAVING relativity. They want stories. They want honesty. They want people to be vulnerable before them. And that energizes them to be open, honest and vulnerable in return. Isn't that why God sent Jesus to earth?? So we would have a high priest who understands and knows??
When I was 12 I decided to not date. This was NOT by the encouragement of my parents. Seriously. My parents taught me how to look at people and the world and to see God's Word and Truth in the daily life we live. I took that and looked around me at God's Word and I saw people were not "guarding their hearts", I saw His truth was not important to them, and I saw that their daily life was in and out of relationships. I didn't want that. I was convicted at 12 that my life needed to have Jesus written all over it, and that there would be no room for the world to write on me. I wanted to be married one day...and I certainly didn't want to be in and out of relationships. I was already boy crazy as it was and that was plenty enough for my emotions to handle...dating would have destroyed me! So I decided that I could get to know guys just by being friends with them...and I held to that until I was 21. I had my first boyfriend and even that relationship as a 21 year old, choosing courtship, not holding hands, not saying "I love you"...it hurt me. But I knew that although that hurt might have been avoided, I learned so much about myself in that pain. And without that pain I wouldn't have sprinted to Jesus with my broken heart. Doesn't God want our good times and our bad times???
Now, I might be married soon. I have found the one my soul loves. Well, God found him...actually he was there for a while...haha. God makes me smile with the way He works things out :) I am now in courtship and both me and my boyfriend are learning what it mean to "leave" based on scripture and the healthiness of our relationship with our parents. It's so awesome to try to honor and obey God at the same time and to be encouraging each other. God is in it all...every conversation and every hard time (you know...the ones that build muscles if you pick up the weight).
My encouragement to teens: You are learning so much right now! You may have made decisions you aren't proud of...or you may not be exposed that much to growing up. Whatever your situation, it is no mistake that you have the parents you do. God doesn't make mistakes. You need your parents (or some kind of guardian) and to be honest, they need you. Sometimes we look at our parents as if they have it all figured out and they are just working and doing their thing and they have to take care of us because they are our parents. First, be glad that they choose to take care of you in a world that kills children on a daily basis because parents are selfish. Your parents choose to have a new human being in their life that they would be responsible for. That's a big weight, and if they are in your life, they chose to bare that weight every day because they're love for you is beyond the stuff of this world. You are worth fighting for. What a blessing to have someone who loves you that much! Second, they do not have it all figured out. It took me actually becoming an adult to realize how beautifully human my parents are. They need encouragement. They cry. They have to speak to themselves to be motivated about getting up in the morning. They are human. And they need to know that someone sees that they are doing their best in their human state. They don't have it all figured out...but they are trying their hardest for you because of love. And your parents need Jesus and the Word of God just as much as you. Share those encouragements with them. Open the Word together. Pray for your parents and with your parents.
My encouragement to parents: I am not a parent. What I have to share is small and it is only based upon what I appreciate from my own parents based on what we've been through as a family.
Don't stop praying for what your children need. Yelling and getting frustrated is the quickest way for your child to not hear a word you say. Being understanding and sharing your heart with your kids is the best thing they will remember and it will stay with them. One day God will call them to leave you. Share with them as much as you can so that they know you have their back. Do not control them...they WILL run away and you'll push them away. God's Word is living and active...use it! Every parenting book and idea that doesn't come from scripture probably won't work. God is the only one who has it together. Let your kids know that. Teach them about God's parenting, not yours. Don't give the impression that you have it all together, one day they will see that you don't. Teach respect. Teach tough love for their safety and benefit not for their gratification or for "feeling good". Be open and honest. They respond to transparency. You were a kid too. They want to hear about that. Teach them what it means to obey God. Show them what being a child of God looks like. And then when they are grown, teach them what it means to be a brother and sister in Christ. You won't always be parenting...hopefully soon they will be your friends.
My encouragement for young adults: Love your parents. Don't let them walk all over you, but love them the way they need to be loved. Feed their Spirit with the Word of God. Don't argue and walk away. Handle situations like an adult, take responsibility for things said. Be CLEAR about boundaries and feelings. Pray for and with your parents and family. Obey God with all your heart and pray for them to understand that you are obeying the Lord and seeking His best. God will fill in the gaps. It might be hard. It might hurt. There might need to be hard boundaries set. Mom might cry. Love will help everyone. You do what you need to do to be the person God is calling you to be. Talk to Mom and Dad...you may inspire them...God might have bigger plans for them too...and your story may help them see that. Listen and love. Everyone is here because of love. If you feel controlled, say something...you're an adult now...you can speak up for yourself without being disrespectful. Don't let it be one time...keep communicating. Every relationship needs communication. Figure out your parents...some info is best not shared sometimes. Love them and share Jesus. Take responsibility. They are trying to figure it out too. Grace, forgiveness and love are wonderful things.
I am still learning what it means to, in a healthy way, "Leave and Cleave". I have asked God to teach me...and He is. He knows each and every person and what they need. And He has plans for each of us. Even our older parents....God isn't done with them. What is God calling you to? How is He teaching you? Are you asking Him to teach you? Remember, no one has it all together. Don't pretend. Be humble. Be open. Be honest. And be vulnerable with those you love. But above all, obey God with all your heart...and He will be there in your situation. Open His Word.
More thoughts...
I still live at home with my parents. Like I said before, my parents have been very encouraging with what growing up means. I don't have chores anymore. They don't "require" me to do things. It's a equal effort. If the kitchen floor is dirty, an adult cleans the kitchen floor. It doesn't matter who...but someone has to do it. I care for my parents home as if it were my own. We, agreeing with each other, have rules for the home that we all abide by. If I have a problem, we talk about it. We are a team now. It's no longer about me "obeying" Mom and Dad...we are partners. This was a lessons we were encouraged to learn when my Dad got sick. They needed me. They didn't "require" me to do things...they didn't give me a "to do list" and expect me to have it done when they got home. It should be whoever is ABLE handles what needs to be done. I was home while my mom was at the hospital with my Dad...I managed the home for a time, I cared for my brother and cooked and cleaned. They didn't ask me to...I did it because it had to be done. I'm a part of the family. I love them. This is what love does. I make dinner some nights because we have to eat. I don't do it because there isn't anything to eat, I do it because I am an adult human being living here too...not because they require it of me. This allows me to be independent and still care for a home without paying rent to someone else down the street. I know it must be hard for my parents having me living here but also being independent. They ask me if I can help with things...but they don't assume I'm available. One day my Dad was trying to see if my Mom could bring the van in for an oil change. They went over days to try and figure out when they could. I offered to take it in for them because I was able and available. But they didn't count on me even being an option. I was able to serve them and do something for them out of the love in my heart and not because I was asked. If they had required it of me...I might not have done it haha. I want to be given the opportunity to make my own decisions...including the decisions to help. And because my parents have never tried to control any of us kids, I feel the freedom to go out of my way to serve them because I know they don't expect it and honestly it makes it more enjoyable for them too, I think. Isn't that how God is with us?? He gives us instruction...but then He allows us to accept for deny it. There isn't a Bible for each age of life....it's one way...choose or deny. But He never FORCES us to love for obey Him. Once we choose to love and obey Him...we are sure of our decision. Walking in confidence.
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Age doesn't matter
When I was little I thought everything was great...everyone was happy...I had child like faith and my world was somewhat easy. The trials I faced as a young person were my school work and liking boys.
When I hit 18...my world changed. Since then, my Dad's heart failed, he went through 4 or 5 jobs, my Mom was raising another child, my siblings were all moved out, family members went to be with The Lord, I grieved over relationships and people I had lost, people close to me moved away, and dear friends went to be with The Lord as well. I struggled with depression and almost had an eating disorder, I went into physical therapy for my knee and started testing on my own heart and faith.
A lot has happened in those 6 years.
I've learned to trust God with my relationships and put away my pride and be the person that those I love need. I've had to grieve and I've had to not grieve because I had to be strong. I've had to stand firm on my convictions even though I was questioned over and over again. I had to learn the beauty of communication. I had to know I'd be okay if I lost everything and everyone. I've had to make God number 1 above everyone and everything and that's why I'd be okay.
To those who say that age is wisdom...I'd like to see them as adults go through what I've gone through. I'd like to see them have a faith like my little 8 year old brother when he was faced with his Dad possibly dying.
We all have a story. We all have faced our own trials. God does not see age...He sees faith. Kings were young in biblical times (I seem to remember one king being 10...nope 8!!!! 2 Chronicles 34:1)! Age obviously is not the point. It's faith and maturity. Wisdom and selflessness. God grows people...God gives wisdom. You can't get wisdom without Him. You can get a whole lot if you ask starting at a young age.
"Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believer in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity" 1 Timothy 4:12
So how old is your faith? Is it mature? Does it have a story to it? Or is it boring and only about the things you want?
"Consider it pure joy brothers when you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God who gives generously to all without finding fault and it will be given to him. But when he asks he must believe and not doubt because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea blown and tossed by the wind." James 1:2-6
You see God longs for us to make it through circumstances and trials because they produce a harvest of wisdom and perseverance. He wants us to be stronger every day. Seeking Him and asking for wisdom are the ways we grow. If we aren't seeking Him we aren't growing.
Every trial I've faced in my short life so far I made it a point to press as hard as I could into Gods embrace. And with each trial I went deeper and deeper with Him. So much so I am almost completely one with Him. And when I attempt to leave that embrace or not press into Him because I think "I don't need Him" I loose some of my identity and I don't know who I am.
We weren't created to function without our Creator...we need Him. He Created us to be with Him. There's nothing His Creation could do to change why He created it. He still wants us. No matter our age. We are all looked at the same by Him. Jesus covers all of us. But how many of us are really pressing into Him? How many of us have wisdom because we've asked for it? How many of us have considered it pure joy when we go through trials because we know we have gone deeper with God and we know He is number 1 in our life?
I challenge you to ask for wisdom. And press into God today. You need Him. In trials and in good times. You need Him no matter how well you cover it up. The need it there, the need is real. Stop living as if you can function without your Creator.
Thursday, April 17, 2014
Learning more about faith...
It's interesting how we can know so much about God and be studying Him and His Word and there is still lessons every single day.
Recently, I have been searching the Lord (His Word and prayer) to see what He wants me to be doing. This has been a very emotional process because I tell myself that I don't want to choose something that God doesn't want me to do, but I also don't want to miss what He wants me doing, or fail at it. I get knots in my stomach when I think about the possibilities and how I have no clue as to what He wants. Then today, I read 2 Corinthians 1. I'm trying to go through the Corinthians this month...with it being the 17th, I am now in 2nd Corinthians. Paul talks in this letter about His and Timothy's sufferings for the Word of God. Now, I know that they were facing much deeper sufferings than I am, but they still can be categorized as "sufferings for the Lord". They felt like they were going to die (sometimes me emotions make me feel that way haha) but they knew that God could conquer death, and they knew God had a purpose for them, so they would have probably been okay with dying then if it was God's plan. Then they lifted their eyes (in a spiritual figurative way) and said "But this happened so that we may not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead" 2 Corinthians 1:9 They knew the God they served and that He is in every nook and granny of our lives and that He is trustworthy and reliable.
I trust God. But I think sometimes I try to rely on myself. Forgetting for however long that His very Spirit lives in me, to be my helper and counselor. And so I'm asking myself if being so concerned about if I am in the will of God is really what I should be doing? God is going to guide me, I just have to listen and be in tune. But I also think if He isn't saying much and I am seeking Him actively, then there isn't much I need to worry about. As long as I am continually asking Him to "Search my heart" Psalm 139:23 because "On Him we have set our hope that He will continue to deliver us" 2 Corinthians 1:10
So I am learning more about faith. My own personal faith. How I can rely on Him and trust that He IS ACTIVELY and CURRENTLY guiding me right now, because I am His child and His Spirit is in me and He is trustworthy and faithful! haha, I feel like saying AMEN! AMEN! :)
Recently, I have been searching the Lord (His Word and prayer) to see what He wants me to be doing. This has been a very emotional process because I tell myself that I don't want to choose something that God doesn't want me to do, but I also don't want to miss what He wants me doing, or fail at it. I get knots in my stomach when I think about the possibilities and how I have no clue as to what He wants. Then today, I read 2 Corinthians 1. I'm trying to go through the Corinthians this month...with it being the 17th, I am now in 2nd Corinthians. Paul talks in this letter about His and Timothy's sufferings for the Word of God. Now, I know that they were facing much deeper sufferings than I am, but they still can be categorized as "sufferings for the Lord". They felt like they were going to die (sometimes me emotions make me feel that way haha) but they knew that God could conquer death, and they knew God had a purpose for them, so they would have probably been okay with dying then if it was God's plan. Then they lifted their eyes (in a spiritual figurative way) and said "But this happened so that we may not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead" 2 Corinthians 1:9 They knew the God they served and that He is in every nook and granny of our lives and that He is trustworthy and reliable.
I trust God. But I think sometimes I try to rely on myself. Forgetting for however long that His very Spirit lives in me, to be my helper and counselor. And so I'm asking myself if being so concerned about if I am in the will of God is really what I should be doing? God is going to guide me, I just have to listen and be in tune. But I also think if He isn't saying much and I am seeking Him actively, then there isn't much I need to worry about. As long as I am continually asking Him to "Search my heart" Psalm 139:23 because "On Him we have set our hope that He will continue to deliver us" 2 Corinthians 1:10
So I am learning more about faith. My own personal faith. How I can rely on Him and trust that He IS ACTIVELY and CURRENTLY guiding me right now, because I am His child and His Spirit is in me and He is trustworthy and faithful! haha, I feel like saying AMEN! AMEN! :)
Thursday, April 10, 2014
Starting To Write
I have had the desire to write a book for over a year now. After going through a lot of growing a few years prior, I feel the calling of the Lord to share my story. I try to type something out at least a page long 3 times a week. It sometimes is just a topic on my mind or something I know I want to be included in my book. My journey with God is still happening and I am still learning so much in this stage of life and I know I will continue to learn and grow. I am not done by any means. There is so much already in my head that I want to share and God is starting to get it out. It may take me some time, but I know I need to start somewhere.
My blogs are a part of my writing. Getting my thoughts out and having an audience to share with.
I am so excited about all that God is going to do in the next years of my life as He speaks more to me and uses me for His glory. It is only the small beginning...it is going to be good.
Thank you for reading my blog. Please share posts that encourage you and keep checking back to see what more I have to share (I know it will be something haha)
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
This is why I write and speak
"Christ Crucified Is God’s Power and Wisdom
18 For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. 19 For it is written:
“I will destroy the wisdom of the wise;
the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate.”
20 Where is the wise person?Where is the teacher of the law? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolishthe wisdom of the world? 21 For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe. 22 Jews demand signsand Greeks look for wisdom,23 but we preach Christ crucified:a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, 24 but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. 25 For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength.
26 Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. 27 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.28 God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, 29 so that no one may boast before him. 30 It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness,holiness and redemption.31 Therefore, as it is written: “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.”
2 And so it was with me, brothers and sisters. When I came to you, I did not come with eloquence or human wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God. 2 For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. 3 I came to you in weakness with great fear and trembling. 4 My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power, 5 so that your faith might not rest on human wisdom, but on God’s power.
God’s Wisdom Revealed by the Spirit
6 We do, however, speak a message of wisdom among the mature, but not the wisdom of this age or of the rulers of this age, who are coming to nothing.7 No, we declare God’s wisdom, a mystery that has been hiddenand that God destined for our glory before time began. 8 None of the rulers of this ageunderstood it, for if they had, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory. 9 However, as it is written:
“What no eye has seen,
what no ear has heard,
and what no human mind has conceived”—
the things God has prepared for those who love him—
10 these are the things God has revealed to us by his Spirit.
The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God.11 For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spiritwithin them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. 12 What we have received is not the spiritof the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us. 13 This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, explaining spiritual realities with Spirit-taught words.14 The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit. 15 The person with the Spirit makes judgments about all things, but such a person is not subject to merely human judgments, 16 for,
“Who has known the mind of the Lord
so as to instruct him?”
But we have the mind of Christ."
1 Corinthians 1:18-2:16
Friday, March 14, 2014
In pursuit of fruit
If you're not growing, the Spirit of God is not showing.
The fruits of the Spirit are not quick things any human being can just snap and become...they are a continual pursuit. Making us better and better people as we pursue to bear them. If you are not growing, being challenged, being convicted to make changes or being tested...are you really tuned into the right station? Or are you living in static in between Gods station and the worlds music?
I can speak from experience, when you really seek after God...He really does some changes and brings conviction about things! But feeling life in your veins as the fruit becomes bigger and bigger is the best thing in the world. I know Heaven knows what I'm talking about :)
Thursday, March 13, 2014
Why lips?
Kissing I hear is a very enjoyable thing to do. I also hear you don't really need to like the person to enjoy their lips. Also, people actually think this is true for having sex as well. All physical expressions have become all about ourselves in our society, haven't they?
My decision to not kiss until my wedding day had very little to do with me when I first made the commitment. As a young teen I eagerly desired to honor God and follow His ways. Resisting the physical expression of a kiss until I was able to commit my life to that man, was important to me in showing God how much I wanted His best. To this day, that commitment has helped guard me from a lot of heart ache, bad decisions (and possibly bad kisses). It isn't so much the literal kiss as it is what it means spiritually, emotionally and physically.
Physically: My mouth is the way that I get my point across, it is the way I express myself, the way I sing praises to God and the way I bring nourishment to my body. If someone is kissing me, I am unable to do any of those things while they are kissing me. So, I want to be really sure that the man who is shutting me up, really knows what comes out of that mouth when he isn't in it! I am also a very physical person - hence the boundaries I have set for myself. I anticipated being the kind of person who would have to fight getting caught up with physical expression.
Emotionally: I hear that once kissing starts it is harder to resist the next steps to sex. Emotionally I have always been heightened and I knew that as I got older I would probably fall very easily into some temptation because of the emotional person I am. Kissing is like a deeper doorway into someones heart and mind. I am sure it encourages further sexual thoughts and desires as it plays around with touching and feeling. That must be why kissing is so wonderful, because it is not only and expression physically but it brings you closer to someone emotionally...which leads me to my next point...
Spiritually: When there is kissing you are in each others face, up close and personal. You touch your lips as if to say "I want to be super close to you right now."
Here's a thought: many times we reach a point where we have let ourselves play around on the edge of the cliff and all of a sudden we wobble a little and have that sensation like "WOW! I almost fell! That was a close one!". I think all physical expression leading up to sex is like that. Seeing what you can get away with on the boundary of sexual immorality.
God made Male and Female relationships for: reflecting Christ and the Church. Representing His Covenant with us. After I committed to not have sex until I was married, I thought about other things that would bring me close to someone. Kissing seemed like a pretty big thing that would bring me physically close to someone. I already had wondered as a young teen what kisses were like and when I would get one, haha, so I knew I was already intrigued. The boundary had to be set. So I committed to give me husband my virginity and my kiss. I took God's covenant seriously and really thought about how precious I am to Him, and how precious He is to me...and then I had this overwhelming desire to make my husband feel precious and wonderful. That I was all His. A complete package. Like parents await for the day of children on Christmas morning, I couldn't wait to see my husbands excitement.
The commitment I made kept me from a lot of heart ache and temptation. But it wasn't without being misunderstood. I had peers question my knowledge of relationships by asking me "how will you know you like someone unless you kiss them?" or questioning my knowledge of God asking "you know kissing isn't a sin, right?" Today, I often get comments like "God bless you, I would not be able to do that!" or the encouraging comments like "I wish I had set that boundary" the ones that leave me discouraged are those of praise and then deny it by their lifestyle. There are women I have come to know and talk to that are inspired by my story and want me to share it with others, but refuse to give God the time of day to move in their own lives like that. **Please don't miss out on this. Purity is accessible to every believer, He has always had plans for you, and He still does. There's no sin or choice that can keep Him from you if you are willing to seek Him and obey what He convicts you of. **
You see, not kissing is not "my thing"...it's God's thing. I never asked to not kiss. In fact, I think I would really enjoy it!!!! But God calls us to be pure, to keep our marriage beds clean, to be examples, and to treasure Him above all else. I was convinced the best way for me to honor Him with my body was to not sway on my commitment to my husband, but to rather give it everything I had. To view my husband as more important than my physical desires. To this day I have held to my commitment. It has been a struggle, kissing is just a small part of the doorways that lead us into temptations. The temptations have been blazing hot sometimes, and I tripped up a few times but I try to keep fighting. I want my marriage to be an example of the covenant God and I have...and I want to seal it with purity on my wedding day.
This is my story. This is why I chose to not kiss. I do it for the Lord. I can't imagine there is anyone not entertaining physical desire by kissing, but if that's you, and you can say you don't think kissing is physical expression or further bonding yourself with someone physically, emotionally and spiritually, then it's your choice to kiss away a bunch of people. But, I'm going to assume that most human beings are turned on, physically encouraged and bonded with someone through kissing. So just consider who you communicate "I want to be super close to you right now" to.
These thoughts and convictions are applicable on so many other levels, like holding hands and cuddling and to some extent hugs. Take some time to think and pray about what kind of boundaries will help you not play around on the edge of the cliff. Think about what your covenant with God means to you, and how you would really like to honor and reflect that in your covenant with your husband. And I think it is also encouraging to think about how excited and special your husband will feel. :)
My decision to not kiss until my wedding day had very little to do with me when I first made the commitment. As a young teen I eagerly desired to honor God and follow His ways. Resisting the physical expression of a kiss until I was able to commit my life to that man, was important to me in showing God how much I wanted His best. To this day, that commitment has helped guard me from a lot of heart ache, bad decisions (and possibly bad kisses). It isn't so much the literal kiss as it is what it means spiritually, emotionally and physically.
Physically: My mouth is the way that I get my point across, it is the way I express myself, the way I sing praises to God and the way I bring nourishment to my body. If someone is kissing me, I am unable to do any of those things while they are kissing me. So, I want to be really sure that the man who is shutting me up, really knows what comes out of that mouth when he isn't in it! I am also a very physical person - hence the boundaries I have set for myself. I anticipated being the kind of person who would have to fight getting caught up with physical expression.
Emotionally: I hear that once kissing starts it is harder to resist the next steps to sex. Emotionally I have always been heightened and I knew that as I got older I would probably fall very easily into some temptation because of the emotional person I am. Kissing is like a deeper doorway into someones heart and mind. I am sure it encourages further sexual thoughts and desires as it plays around with touching and feeling. That must be why kissing is so wonderful, because it is not only and expression physically but it brings you closer to someone emotionally...which leads me to my next point...
Spiritually: When there is kissing you are in each others face, up close and personal. You touch your lips as if to say "I want to be super close to you right now."
Here's a thought: many times we reach a point where we have let ourselves play around on the edge of the cliff and all of a sudden we wobble a little and have that sensation like "WOW! I almost fell! That was a close one!". I think all physical expression leading up to sex is like that. Seeing what you can get away with on the boundary of sexual immorality.
God made Male and Female relationships for: reflecting Christ and the Church. Representing His Covenant with us. After I committed to not have sex until I was married, I thought about other things that would bring me close to someone. Kissing seemed like a pretty big thing that would bring me physically close to someone. I already had wondered as a young teen what kisses were like and when I would get one, haha, so I knew I was already intrigued. The boundary had to be set. So I committed to give me husband my virginity and my kiss. I took God's covenant seriously and really thought about how precious I am to Him, and how precious He is to me...and then I had this overwhelming desire to make my husband feel precious and wonderful. That I was all His. A complete package. Like parents await for the day of children on Christmas morning, I couldn't wait to see my husbands excitement.
The commitment I made kept me from a lot of heart ache and temptation. But it wasn't without being misunderstood. I had peers question my knowledge of relationships by asking me "how will you know you like someone unless you kiss them?" or questioning my knowledge of God asking "you know kissing isn't a sin, right?" Today, I often get comments like "God bless you, I would not be able to do that!" or the encouraging comments like "I wish I had set that boundary" the ones that leave me discouraged are those of praise and then deny it by their lifestyle. There are women I have come to know and talk to that are inspired by my story and want me to share it with others, but refuse to give God the time of day to move in their own lives like that. **Please don't miss out on this. Purity is accessible to every believer, He has always had plans for you, and He still does. There's no sin or choice that can keep Him from you if you are willing to seek Him and obey what He convicts you of. **
You see, not kissing is not "my thing"...it's God's thing. I never asked to not kiss. In fact, I think I would really enjoy it!!!! But God calls us to be pure, to keep our marriage beds clean, to be examples, and to treasure Him above all else. I was convinced the best way for me to honor Him with my body was to not sway on my commitment to my husband, but to rather give it everything I had. To view my husband as more important than my physical desires. To this day I have held to my commitment. It has been a struggle, kissing is just a small part of the doorways that lead us into temptations. The temptations have been blazing hot sometimes, and I tripped up a few times but I try to keep fighting. I want my marriage to be an example of the covenant God and I have...and I want to seal it with purity on my wedding day.
This is my story. This is why I chose to not kiss. I do it for the Lord. I can't imagine there is anyone not entertaining physical desire by kissing, but if that's you, and you can say you don't think kissing is physical expression or further bonding yourself with someone physically, emotionally and spiritually, then it's your choice to kiss away a bunch of people. But, I'm going to assume that most human beings are turned on, physically encouraged and bonded with someone through kissing. So just consider who you communicate "I want to be super close to you right now" to.
These thoughts and convictions are applicable on so many other levels, like holding hands and cuddling and to some extent hugs. Take some time to think and pray about what kind of boundaries will help you not play around on the edge of the cliff. Think about what your covenant with God means to you, and how you would really like to honor and reflect that in your covenant with your husband. And I think it is also encouraging to think about how excited and special your husband will feel. :)
Thursday, March 6, 2014
One of my favorite verses...good is good, I want BEST!
I have some verses stuck to my wall in my room. When I lift up my head to look at them I remember the times I jotted them down and what made me want to hang them up as reminders.
One big one in my life has been Psalm 37:4 "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart"
That verse carries so much personal meaning to me and it pulls me back to those intimate times with the Lord where He spoke His truth to me through times of struggle. Today, that verse is taking me a little deeper again.
Am I truly delighting in Him? Is He my joy and my excitement and my anticipation? Do I spend my thoughts, time and energy thinking about Him all throughout the day?
You can't even say the word "delight" without thinking happy thoughts and maybe smile a little bit. Does God's name spur on happy thoughts and a smile?
I am really starting to dive deeper into this verse again and really check myself to see if I am still living this out. It's message conveys that God's will is not to withhold good from me. His will isn't even to withhold my desire from me. It's to give me the desires of my heart. But what are the desires of my heart? Not of my flesh, not of my mind, not even of my emotions. My heart. My very core. There are lots of things I want in my flesh and my ability and my situations. But what does my heart desire? What does it long for? Money is ruled out. Time is ruled out. Ability is ruled out. People are ruled out. Achievement is ruled out. Being praised is ruled out. What is really my desire in my core? From where my life flows, what does it long for? There's really only one answer; God.
And once I am fully delighted in Him, He continuously and abundantly meets my desire every single minute of the day. Don't get me wrong, I have plenty of other small desires...but none of them will happen unless they are in God's plan and He knows the perfect timing for them...so I desire for His plans and His ways of doing them because I know that He will make them the best!
Please don't miss the intensity of these personal intimate verses. God wants our delight...for Him and only Him to be the one we give our time, energy, thoughts and yearning to. And He longs to give us the desire of our heart...the true desire only He can fill...Himself. He doesn't just give like a vending machine so don't treat Him that way...Let Him run over your cup over and over and over again. He not only has good...He has the BEST in store for us. Good is good...but best is wayyyy better and if we just delight in Him with all that we are, get ready to be blown away by our powerful, loving and life-changing God :)
"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we can ask or imagine (desires) , according to His power that is at work within us (delighting)" Ephesians 3:20
"Call to Me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know" Jeremiah 33:3
Go study His Word and take delight in your King, your Redeemer, your Savior, your Lover, the Desire of your heart. It's all about Him.
One big one in my life has been Psalm 37:4 "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart"
That verse carries so much personal meaning to me and it pulls me back to those intimate times with the Lord where He spoke His truth to me through times of struggle. Today, that verse is taking me a little deeper again.
Am I truly delighting in Him? Is He my joy and my excitement and my anticipation? Do I spend my thoughts, time and energy thinking about Him all throughout the day?
You can't even say the word "delight" without thinking happy thoughts and maybe smile a little bit. Does God's name spur on happy thoughts and a smile?
I am really starting to dive deeper into this verse again and really check myself to see if I am still living this out. It's message conveys that God's will is not to withhold good from me. His will isn't even to withhold my desire from me. It's to give me the desires of my heart. But what are the desires of my heart? Not of my flesh, not of my mind, not even of my emotions. My heart. My very core. There are lots of things I want in my flesh and my ability and my situations. But what does my heart desire? What does it long for? Money is ruled out. Time is ruled out. Ability is ruled out. People are ruled out. Achievement is ruled out. Being praised is ruled out. What is really my desire in my core? From where my life flows, what does it long for? There's really only one answer; God.
And once I am fully delighted in Him, He continuously and abundantly meets my desire every single minute of the day. Don't get me wrong, I have plenty of other small desires...but none of them will happen unless they are in God's plan and He knows the perfect timing for them...so I desire for His plans and His ways of doing them because I know that He will make them the best!
Please don't miss the intensity of these personal intimate verses. God wants our delight...for Him and only Him to be the one we give our time, energy, thoughts and yearning to. And He longs to give us the desire of our heart...the true desire only He can fill...Himself. He doesn't just give like a vending machine so don't treat Him that way...Let Him run over your cup over and over and over again. He not only has good...He has the BEST in store for us. Good is good...but best is wayyyy better and if we just delight in Him with all that we are, get ready to be blown away by our powerful, loving and life-changing God :)
"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we can ask or imagine (desires) , according to His power that is at work within us (delighting)" Ephesians 3:20
"Call to Me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know" Jeremiah 33:3
Go study His Word and take delight in your King, your Redeemer, your Savior, your Lover, the Desire of your heart. It's all about Him.
Saturday, March 1, 2014
The Ministry of Women
I just returned from a Woman's Tea for North American Missions through SBCV (Southern Baptist Conservatives of Virginia) hosted by the Ladies Ministry of Ramouth Baptist Church here in Stafford, VA.
The ladies were not only welcoming but they exuded God's heart of service and it warmed my heart. Through my years of ministry at my previous church my heart jumps for joy at service. Even just taking down and setting up tables. The women who I was able to connect with at this function were so encouraging in their small interactions with me. My age did not matter to them, they truly heard my heart for the Lord and when I brought up wanting to serve Him, they were not hesitant in supporting me in that desire. They were excited and expressed positive responses in contacting me and keeping in touch as we seek to serve the Lord.
I feel so incredibly energized now! I feel so confident in what the Lord is doing in my life. I want to tell it to the world. Isn't it wonderful when we are actually ministering to one another?
This is the ministry we should be doing on a daily basis.
Let's energize each other in our efforts to minister to one another! Women of God, let's be the "ministry to women".
The ladies were not only welcoming but they exuded God's heart of service and it warmed my heart. Through my years of ministry at my previous church my heart jumps for joy at service. Even just taking down and setting up tables. The women who I was able to connect with at this function were so encouraging in their small interactions with me. My age did not matter to them, they truly heard my heart for the Lord and when I brought up wanting to serve Him, they were not hesitant in supporting me in that desire. They were excited and expressed positive responses in contacting me and keeping in touch as we seek to serve the Lord.
I feel so incredibly energized now! I feel so confident in what the Lord is doing in my life. I want to tell it to the world. Isn't it wonderful when we are actually ministering to one another?
This is the ministry we should be doing on a daily basis.
Let's energize each other in our efforts to minister to one another! Women of God, let's be the "ministry to women".
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