2 years ago my Dad received a heart transplant. 4 years ago he was admitted into the hospital after having a near heart attack and loss of function. His lungs were full of fluid and he was not making sense due to hardly any oxygen getting to his brain. Our family experienced a "new normal" from that point on. After countless visits to our now beloved INOVA Fairfax hospital, we all became heart transplant experts. Blood pressure, heart attacks, heart functions, heart pumps, diabetes...the list goes on. That time in our family was a great time of testing, but I stand to say...we passed the test. Through little tears in the moment because of all of us needing to be strong for each other, we knew God had a plan, and while it was shocking to have to go through this trying time none of us were prepared for, we were grateful for it. We were appreciative to have the opportunity to serve our Dad by being there for him and our Mom. We were humbled by the knowledge God has given the talented medical field. We were prepared, as much as anyone can be, for Daddy to no longer be with us. God did that. God worked in such a mighty way as to fill us with His CRAZY peace. When I say crazy...I mean crazy! It was so strange that in the midst of such adversity we all just had peace. We knew we were going to be okay. That year I learned the truth of what it meant to actually have faith and not merely just talk about it.
As I looked at my Dad yesterday I almost started to tear up telling this lady that "I kind of don't care what it's like, I just can't believe we are here, I can't believe he is here. This would not be happening for me if my Dad was not with us today. But here he is sitting here." But I couldn't cry. Because I knew that no matter if he was or wasn't here, God was good. I just so happen to be able to do this with my Daddy by my side. When he got sick, I had to be okay with the fact of one day getting married and my Dad not walking me down the isle. But he is here. That doesn't make me any better than someone who didn't get to have that, and I guess that's why I am so humbled by it. I was prepared to not have it. I know how precious it is, but I also know where my faith and trust is. It's in God who is wonderful and perfect no matter if I get what I want or not.
Each and every family has faced some kind of hard thing, and it may look completely different than another. But what I have learned from the trails I have faced is that no matter how big or small the trail...how we respond to the pressure is the true test of our faith. If everything were taken away...would your faith be shaken?? Or would His peace be allowed to abound in your heart??
The peace is CRAZY...I can't even explain it. My Mom and I have tried to explain that peace we had during that time, and there are just no words. It was completely God, and any time I pray...I go back to that...trusting Him beyond what I see...beyond my desire...even my desire to still have loved ones stay on earth...His peace covers it all...it's CRAZY because it doesn't make the desire go away...it just like satisfies it. He really becomes your all in all with no strings attached when you've been tested and your faith stays just as strong as before.
God is good...all of the time!!!
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