Most Recently I have learned a lot, about who I am, what I really believe is really real, and how I feel about things. It has been a learning process with the Lord as He speaks little whispers to my heart. Some of which is learning when to not speak, rather than speaking up.
It has been a change, because I am very passionate about things. I emotionally attach myself to a lot of what I believe and do. But God is showing me the beauty of timing. "There is a time for everything" Ecclesiastes 3. I am finding some comfort in that I don't actually need to say something about everything someone says. I don't have to agree with everything someone shares or tells me, and I don't need to speak on everything I do or experience.
Maybe it is stemming from learning to be a wife, and my husband being my sound board that I lean on for everything. I keep nothing from him. Though we are only to be married in a month, God is forming our covenant a little bit at a time in our hearts. We are growing in such an awesome way towards each other as we rely on each other for support both emotional and spiritual. I am full with him and therefore I don't need to seek out other avenues of attention or praise, or even hearing my own voice. There has been a lot that has come across my path that makes me sick to my stomach, and makes me bawl my eyes out and aggravates me, but I say nothing.
But here, today, I am going to share a few things about what I have learned so far. With "growing up", in the process of getting married and following God's call...the learning hasn't stopped.
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1) You can't make everyone happy...but you can love everyone unconditionally all the time.
Love is far different than happiness. Love lasts no matter the circumstances, happiness does not. Happiness is emotion based, circumstance based, and sometimes completely mood based. There is no way to make anyone who you love happy all of the time. No one can do that even for themselves.
2) Marry early. If God has brought the person He created for you, and He has told you that this is the one for you, and both of you have sought Him and His will and you have the prayerful support of those you trust who listen to the Lord and they agree with your commitment, don't wait to get married. There is no reason. Financial struggles will always be there, family issues won't go away before you get married and God has brought you together for a reason. Prolonging your relationship before marriage should only serve until you are at peace and confident that it is time to get married. Once God tells you it's time...do not wait. Waiting beyond that will only put you into deeper temptation and not benefit your natural desire for your spouse. The desire will grow whether you do anything about it or not. The desire is pure, good and right. Do not mix that up. God will provide, because He created it and knows it better than we do.
The time frame for each couple will vary. God will guide you on when is the right time. But be sure to listen to Him and take heed to not making it longer than it needs to be.
3) Have a wedding, not a fairy tale. The wedding is the first celebration/step on the journey of your marriage. No matter who attends, where it is held or what kind of decorations or food you have. It is yours to have, to make your own and to share with those you love. Focus on Family. Two families are being joined as you make your vows. It isn't just about you and your honey, it's about a covenant, one that effects everyone around you. There is too much Princess expectations out there. Life is more powerful and beautiful than a fairy tale. Take the time to be creative with your family and your spouse. If...you have a plan and vision in your head...paint the picture for everyone to know it. If...you don't have a vision or a plan...let the creative juices ooze from your family members as you give them "creative liberties" (this one is me, I didn't really have a plan). Above all, don't let anyone steal your joy. Satan hates weddings, and he especially hates christian ones that are made under God. He will use whatever means (even people you love who have good intentions) to pull you down, make you think you're crazy and ruin your day and planning.
If it's an issue of money. Do not let that stop you. I have seen friends have small weddings, and they are just as beautiful and thought out (they are actually even more personal and elegant and special). God will provide...not a huge to do...but enough for Him to be glorified.
4) Do not love money. Liking money and using it as a tool is a great way to be used by the Lord. But being used means it needs to...yes...BE USED. I grew up saving all the money I received. All the babysitting jobs I had, all the Christmas money and all the birthday money I had went right into the bank account I still own. All of that is my money and I worked for every cent. With it I bought half of my car, my own flat TV and a cool camera. None of it was given to me by my parents unless it was a gift for an occasion. I am proud of that money. But I also know it will disappear soon.
I had my first awakening and calling to this mindset about a year ago. I had a paycheck to deposit and a bunch of cash. I was on my way to the bank when my car broke down. It wouldn't start and I waited for the tow truck. After being towed my Mom took me to the bank, and we proceeded to do our errands. I got a call from the mechanic while I was shopping, the repairs were going to cost almost exactly as much as I HAD JUST DEPOSITED! I wrestled with my emotions for a while. I honestly wanted to cry. I was angry because I had plans for the money, but I was humbled because God clearing provided for my needs! That day I heard God's voice say to me "don't love money".
Money belongs to God, and while we are to be good stewards of it...I often wonder...does God keep anything locked up for long periods of time and not use it? Not really. Everything He has He gives to us and shares, plus He gives WAY WAY more than we deserve...so shouldn't we do that with HIS money?
The perspective here is to not see using money as some horrible thing as if God isn't providing. I could have been angry with God and asked Him WHY He didn't provide for my car that day. I could have considered the money I JUST deposited as not to be used yet. I could have told God He needed to get on his miracle phone and call up something to take away the issues with my car. But God DID provide. And a miracle DID happen. If I was focused on the money, I would have missed the biggest lesson and the coolest miracle I ever had done to me. So don't love money. If you want to be used by God, and you consider the money you have to be God's money...He will USE it...meaning it will probably go away.
5) Husbands are not perfect. They are perfect for you, to make you Holy and into the person God wants you to be, not the person you want to be.
I have seen the arguments, even had some of my own. I have found that there is no way around marrying a human being if you are doing it God's Way. God's way is for a man and woman to make a covenant and be united until death to make each other holy, not happy. There is no Edward. And thank goodness there is no Christan Gray. There are men who will love you with passion when you respect them with loyalty. They will rise to your rescue if they know you won't tell them you can "take care of yourself".
I have been the snapping woman, trying to "get my man right". And that didn't last long. I felt alone and just plain crazy.
God told me that I needed to trust Him by trusting this man He brought into my life.
So far, it gets better the more I trust. Even if I think he's wrong, I have to trust him. And God does some pretty cool things without me saying "I told you so".
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So these are the things I have learn recently.
I am sure I will have way more to share after April, because I'll be officially married.
Leave comments, leave advice. Share on Facebook, share with friends. :)
