Sometimes I don't understand God...

Do you ever feel like that?
"God, why did You decide to do things that way?" 
"God, that doesn't make sense" 
"God, I don't understand"

So many times I found myself asking those questions. I didn't understand why my friends were getting married younger than me, when I had waited so long and studied how to be a God-honoring wife. "Why God? I don't understand.." I was frustrated most times with God, angry because I felt like He didn't realize this passion I had, hurt because I felt forgotten. Sometimes I fell into depression. This went on for a long time.

To those who struggle with wanting to be married, you can probably relate...to those who are wondering why this is such a big deal...it is a big deal. No matter what area you have had questions and haven't understood God...those are your reasons...we have all been there.

Maybe you lost a loved one before you thought they should have gone. And you prayed "God, I don't understand". Or, maybe you lost a wonderful job and it didn't make sense for that chapter to close. Or, maybe you aren't getting any younger and you're still single and you just don't get it. Whatever your reason is, we all have them.

Being in that place of questioning...it can sometimes last only moments, and sometimes it can last much much longer. Having questions, is never a bad thing. It is good to be so deep in something that when it changes or doesn't go the way you thought...it's okay to ask. That's what God created us to be, deep people...passionate people...loving people...devoted people...thinking people. It's okay to question.

The time my questions turned into doubts and anger...was when I let sin into my life. I hated God for a time, I thought He did not know what He was doing and that I knew better. I walked right into a relationship which became an awakening for me to know that I do not have it all together and I can't do things "my way".

The relationship I am in now is not some polar opposite from what I was in before...what has changed is me.

A few years ago, after coming out of a hard breakup I decided to, not run, but sprint to God. I screamed...I prayed...I read...I wrote...I cried...I laid everything I had at His  feet. "No more of me God. You'll have to be the One to move...carry me" The day God brought peace to my heart full of pain, I remember still so vividly. I went for a walk, and I couldn't stand any longer, I sat on the grass and as I looked to the sun-set...warmth reached my skin and I closed my eyes and there was a beach, with no one on it...I was floating and I felt the motion of something...something around me....with the sound of the gentle ocean and the warm sun on me, I looked up...and it was God...walking on the beach...holding little me in His big strong hand...the motion I felt was Him walking.

To this day that vision carries me through my days. It was a huge impact for me, and it brought me peace. It was what I needed.

Not too long after this new peace...my Dad's heart failed and he got a heart pump, and a year after that he had a heart transplant. Rushing home when we got the call for the heart I knew where my trust was. I decided, that no matter if my Dad died or lived...God was good. No matter what. The situation didn't make me trust God, I decided to trust God.

I don't understand why God gave my Dad life but yet others die waiting for a heart. I don't get it. But I trust God is holding each and every one of us. And I trust His big, strong hands.

Ask questions. Pray it out to God. But don't forget that His ways are higher than our ways, and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. And He said that He will carry us. The answer to your questions may not be what you thought...He may just give you peace. You may still ask why...but just know that God is trustworthy all throughout time...He is the same yesterday and today...He is good...His ways are higher...so even if you don't understand Him...you can still trust Him...He won't let you down.

God is good
All the time
God is good

My little message to graduates

You have completed a chapter of your life! Your achievement is so wonderful and will be the page turner to the next chapter of your life. God is so good and He has awesome plans for you.
If I had one thing to share with you as someone slightly older, it would be this: It's all about God. You can try and skate around God and pursue your own desires and aspirations, but ultimately, no matter how long it takes for you to realize it, it is all about God. He is the biggest, best, and only concrete thing in your life. One day you might have a bunch of degree's and experience, and maybe even get your dream job, or things may have not worked out the way you thought...it is still all about God. And that is the best thing you will ever learn and apply yourself to. No resume or degree can get you what a life sacrificed to God can get you. With each year, each week, and each day...make it your passion to pursue Him further. He is going to take you exactly where you need to be. Bring him glory and honor. Resolve to do that from this day forward because there will be plenty of things that will come up against you to fight that decision.

Sincerely through our awesome God,
Mandy Scordino

Venting moment about something I'm passionate about

Warning!!! Venting Moment with Mandy...God gives us children and calls us to teach them His Word...period: 

If you complain about your kids...I will gladly adopt them if they are such a burden and annoyance to you that you need "your time" away from the children you chose to have!!!! 

You want "your time" and to live like your single again...don't get married and don't have kids!

It drives me crazy that parents don't want to be around their children and they can't wait for them to go back to school to an unsafe environment being raised by strangers 8 hours a day!!!

If you don't want kids to be your focus...don't have sex!!! They are Gods children, given to YOU and only YOU to teach, nurture, educate through HIS WORD, and to YES...consume your life...because they are your mission field you signed up for!