Open and Honest

I am in my mid-twenties and while I still have a lot more life to live, lessons to learn, and mistakes to make...God has been my leader and His wisdom has no boundaries.

Growing up there were many people who saw God through me. I don't know why He decided to use me for that purpose, but it happened and I am grateful. Today, I still see His hand moving in the lives of people I get to talk with. It isn't anything I say or do, but what God does through me. I can't take the credit for it because my wisdom fails without His Spirit.

He moves continuously in the lives of those around me. People tell me stories of how my writings reached them when I had nothing to do with it, and I just feel so overwhelmed with humility that God would use me in such a way. When I sit to write I think about all the things God has done for me and the words He has spoken to my heart over and over again all through my life from the time I was a little girl. I don't think about changing anyone or making people remember me, I just want to talk about my God. And He uses that, which is just so cool.

Back when I was a young teen God called me to a very hard mission field. He called me to be different and to stand out. In addition to that He also told me to be loud about it, to tell everyone. This created much spiritual tension between me and my peers and even my siblings. I was very open and honest about my convictions and I told those I loved I disagreed with their lifestyles and choices. As a young person this would be brushed off as immaturity, but what it was for me was the start of a bunch of other adventures God would send me on. One mission as a older teenager was to stand firm on my commitments (not having sex and not kissing) when the guy I was heavily talking to asked to kiss me.

Girls who I tell this story to love it, I think because it's the true representation on standing firm on something. Here's the story: The moon was shining on our faces as we cuddled (his arm around my shoulder) in the back seat of our friends car. We had just gone to McDonalds for a late-night snack and our friend was driving us to drop off the guy I was "with". Anyway...he looked into my eyes and smiled and laughed...and being a girl I said "whhhhat?" and he said "what would you do if I kissed you right now?" my face probably quickly changed from flirting Mandy to serious Mandy as I said "I would slap you in the face!" he then moved his arms from around me and was quiet, I said "you know I am waiting to kiss and I can't believe you would even go there"...at this point I think he realized he would not be feeding his physical appetite with me. After that night, I never heard from him again. (Just FYI: We still don't talk but somehow we are Facebook friends. I pray He is following God's Word and serving Him)

After that night I thought about what had happened and I couldn't remember processing his questions and trying to get courage to tell him no...I couldn't remember because when the questions was asked I believe the Holy Spirit took over. If I had thought about it I probably would have apologized and given him the benefit of the doubt. But because I was so set on what God wanted for me, God was able to step in without me having to think about it. Looking back, that moment still amazes me. That could have been the night I gave away my first kiss. But God protected me. I gave Him full reign to step in whenever needed. I made sure I didn't tell God what to do, or how to handle things...because I follow Him, not the other way around, and because my heart was so open to His will-He stepped in when I really needed it.

It's funny to think about because on my way to meet the friend who was driving us I heard God ask me "where are you going?" I felt like the woman at the well when Jesus asked "where is your husband?"...God knew very well what I was doing. And even though I turned up my music to drown Him out, and even though the woman at the well gave Him excuses...He still saves.
My flesh wanted it's way...but my heart could never lie. My heart and my Spirit wanted God's Best, and being in the relationship with that guy was my failed attempt at trying to get the "best" on my own.

I gave up on attempts at trying to "get the best" and left that up to God the summer before I met my Husband, Matt. Then God showed me what His best really looked like. I was way off...but His ways are so so so so the BEST.

If you want to read some of my story....check out this book

 Born 2 Be Different.

I am one of the contributors for the ladies version along with 13 other women. Each of us has a different life, a different background and a different story...but we all were called to be different and we all love God and serve Him. It's an awesome ministry and I am happy to be a part of it!

 

They said it couldn't be done

Well, this is a story all about how ("my life got twisted upside down"....no...not really)
This is a story about purity. A story without an end. A story that you don't hear very much.

I got married less than a month ago. I don't know everything about marriage, or being a wife. But I was a virgin all my life up until my wedding night...and that my friends, I do know about.

I kept my first kiss hidden away until my wedding day. If you were at my wedding, you saw me seal my covenant with my husband.

As rejoicing as people were to see me kiss my husband for the first time, people have not always been rejoicing with me on this journey. Before my wedding, not many people thought it could be done. I had a great circle of supporters cheering me on, but to the world I was living a fantasy. To the world, I was silly and naive. To the world, I couldn't possibly save my first kiss for my wedding day.

Well, world...YOU WERE WRONG!

THIS GIRL, DID!

All my life, I have been a very simple normal girl. I played sports, went to youth group, argued with my parents and had crushes on boys. The difference I had didn't really show until I became an adult. Guys who were interested in pursuing me didn't know what to think of my goals, and I think they were surprised I was still holding to them. For some reason, my generation has a habit of making goals and commitments and not sticking to them. It was hard for people to take me seriously when so many of my peers were already having sex by 16.

Leading up to becoming an adult I was made fun of and called naive and immature for not kissing until my wedding day. To this day there are Christian Authors who discourage talking about it because everyone thinks it's just too hard. The personae of purity is that it makes you a better person if you can say "no". But I disagree. Purity really has nothing to do with saying "no".

The character of purity stems from our Lord and Savior. He bears the character of purity. As believers, we strive to be like Him and in turn bear the same character over time. So just like choosing to love is not just choosing not to hate, love itself is isn't own thing. It is a character and an action. It exists whether it's counterpart does or does not.

Like love, purity exists by itself. It's it's own thing. So purity has nothing to do with saying no to something else. That's self-control. Purity has to be chosen, just like love does. We decide to be pure, which is a character of God. We decide to live a pure lifestyle, through the current life God has given us. How someone loves someone else may look different, and it's the same with purity. How someone is pure may look different. But there is only one TRUE love and one TRUE purity, and it comes from God. We measure love by Gods example, and we do the same with purity. Just like how love can have many different ways of expression like sacrifice, attention, words, acts, protection and care...purity has many different expressions too.

God's purity is that He is without sin, His thoughts aren't clouded, He has self-control, He can say no to things that aren't good, and He sees and says yes to good things. In the same way, purity does this. Purity sets a goal of being without sin. Purity looks for ways to not cloud our thoughts. Purity uses self-control. Purity has the power to say no to things that aren't good. Purity knows what is good and strives for it.

I saved my first kiss for my wedding day, because I didn't want to fall into sin and have sex before marriage. I didn't want my thoughts to become clouded by my physical desires and forget about my heart and spiritual health. I had to use a lot of self-control, and in that I had to say no to things I knew would lead me down a path that wasn't what I wanted. I also had to say yes to things that were good for me, like saving my first kiss.

Purity is a character, and that's why I write this to you today as a married woman who is still on the road of purity. I have to put on God's character to be a helper to my husband. I still have to use self-control and I still have to say no to things that aren't good for me. But I also get to say yes to a whole lot more things that are good for me. I am no longer a virgin in the sense of having sex and I have not sinned in my marriage bed. My husband and I consider ourselves still pure.

If you look in the dictionary one of the meanings of purity is: freedom from contamination.
Basically haven't been messed around with, defiled and made dirty. 
Have you been defiled? Are you contaminated? The awesome thing about God being pure is that He can make anyone pure who wants to be. God can erase sins and mess ups, but you have to want it. You have to want Him. He is the source. If you have Him you have access to all things Him. That's the only way I have been able to live the life I have, because of Him. I may have said no to a lot of things, but I faced so many temptations throughout my life, and sometimes I said yes to things that were not good for me, but God showed me how to recover.

Do you want freedom from contamination?

I don't know what God will call you to...and I can't say it would be to not kiss until your wedding day, that's up to God. And saving my first kiss was only a small part of all the ways He called me to be pure. There will be so many other things He will call me to do now that I am married, things that will be of His character and not mine. You may be married, but you are most certainly not beyond purity if you are God's child. You may have already had sex outside of marriage, but the story isn't over for you. You may be a young girl, but God may be calling you early to set your path for tomorrow. God's hands extend to the galaxy's...trust me, He can reach you. His son David sinned over and over and committed adultery and murder, but God never gave up on him. He's the same God today.

I don't know who needs to hear these words, I'm just following God's leading. I get nothing in this world out of sharing my heart on here, but if someone sees the truth and breaks free from sin and darkness...I rejoice with Heaven. Come home. God has always been here. He won't give up on you. His character can overflow on your life not matter your age or status. It's what you really want. Why wait? He may have an awesome chapter to write starting today...just give Him the book :)