The Triangle

My life is no longer one line up to God, my life is a triangle. It connects and grows and moves.

As I respect and honor my husband, I am doing it as unto the Lord.
As I submit to my husband, I am also submitting to God.

 God speaks to my husband about how to lead our family, how to protect and provide....

And as my husband listens to God and protects, provides and leads our family, he becomes the umbrella over me, protecting me from life's storms, as he makes the decisions...

If I try and tell him what to do, or go against him, I would be stepping outside of his umbrella...

A good God-honoring loving husband, needs the support of God-fearing gentle encouraging wife who respects him.

Whether or not people believe this or live it out themselves does not change the fact that it is true and how God intended it to work at it's best. There are many marriages that are not right with God. Wives who disrespect and dishonor their husbands, husbands who are cold and unloving...but their failure in seeing God's design does not change God's design. I have made the decision to be a submissive, respectful wife to my husband, because I know as I do that I am doing it unto the Lord. The way I treat him, shows my true heart towards God's love and grace. Even if I disagree with my husband I can pray for God to speak to him.

As I pray for my husband, he can then be encouragemed to seek God....

And as God speaks to my husband...I can be the one blessed by his obedience...

This is just one part of the beautiful creation of marriage.

Some truth about: being a single young woman

When I was 5 years old, I told everyone I wanted to be a Mommy when I grew up. When I became a teenager, I told everyone my goal career was to be a wife and mother. I wanted to stay at home with my children, home school them and care of my home and husband. Throughout my upbringing my parents never pushed this on me, it was something I wanted on my own. As a child this goal is sweet and wonderful, as a teenager people didn't understand why I would want to stay home with my children and not work for someone else making money. As an adult, most people don't get it. Now that I am married, I feel the need to address one of the hardest times I faced.

In our society women are taught to be independent. Not in the way of educating themselves so they can be better people, but rather in the way of proving something to men and to the world, that "we don't need them". This philosophy is new, since the feminist movement, and it is not biblical. Women have been pulling away from their children and husbands for years saying they need to be their own person. This also, is not biblical.

The Bible teaches us that women are to honor and obey God and to fear Him. This is their way of devotion and obedience to God.

Paul talks about in 1 Corinthians 7:34-35 (chapter 7 as a whole talks about marriage) that an unmarried women is concerned about the affairs of God, but if she marries she does not sin. He talks about that if someone decides to marry, they are then devoted to that person.

When having a desire to be married and have a family and being a young adult collide, the result a lot of times can feel like brokenness. The world mocks the biblical family, and the position of a God-fearing wife. Society tells women to have careers and don't wait for men. Our world has been degrading men and you can see it in movies and tv shows. Luckily, there are Godly men still out there who are students of God's Word and desire a biblical marriage as well. Most men are brainwashed by the world philosophy that they can't protect or take care of women, and you can see it when a wife tells her husband hes stupid and you can see the husband cower to her rule and no longer fight for anything.

With all of this going on in today's world, it is hard to be a single young woman who has a god given desire to be married and have children, specially when age is increasing. A lot of times these women isolate themselves to church groups, or a younger crowd in hopes of not facing the world. But, it is almost impossible for a human man, who probably has a nice personality, to find a girl hiding in a crowd like that.

I learned ways to gain wonderful friendships with men and women by opening my circle of friends to all ages of people and often made it a point to step into the world, because I knew God could accomplish at least 2 things He wouldn't be able to accomplish with me sitting at home all the time. 1) I could be an encouragement to others 2) I could meet more godly men so that I knew what the false ones looked like. I made friendships with many godly men who some I still consider like brothers to me. In opening up my circle of friends and stepping out of my comfort zone I no longer just wanted to get married and have children...God opened up my eyes to a greater need, and that was to love people. The more new people I met, the more I saw how beautiful they were and how much God loved them. I decided that I wouldn't be looking for a husband or "waiting for him to finally find me", I decided to fall in love with the family of God, and learn how to really truly just love people.

Without that experience, I may not have learned how to truly love my husband and see him as a man of God and my brother in Christ. For too long my only focus was getting married, but I had a lot more lessons to learn before I was really ready to actually physically SEE who my husband was, get to know him and love him. And those were lesson I couldn't learn in my room, or with younger people, or just at church on Sunday. I had to step out in order to be ready to step into marriage.

That being said, I still guarded myself. I didn't run into the world and go crazy. I still stayed with people who were Christians, and I still didn't go on dates with guys. Making friends has nothing to do with dating. And if you grow a really wonderful friendship, you find out a lot more about the person without ever having to be exclusive. I also didn't push myself into a job. I figured out how much money I needed to make and looked into jobs where I could gain skills and knowledge that would help me be a wife and mother.

Titus 2 teaches us about older women teaching younger women. I surrounded myself with counsel from older christian women, and not just my Mom's friends, though most of them were my Moms' age or older. I didn't want to hear about raising babies, I wanted to hear the 20-30 years married woman tell me about the trials and what got her through. And I realized in all my counseling that they all sought God personally so they could be better wives to their husbands. I knew, that the best way I could serve my husband was to pursue God with a passion in my personal life.

1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 tells us that we should be focused on making sure our lives are in order so that those who look at us, hear us or are friends with us will respect us. If we are focusing on what we don't have, acting like married people are annoying (I've been there) or taking our frustrations out on people just because we are not married yet, how does that win their respect? How does that focus us on our relationship with God? It doesn't.

If we do desire what God has for us, we need to look at what He has for us RIGHT NOW not just in the future. Right now, we all have people in our lives who need us and our encouragement. Right now, we all could better our relationship with Him. Right now, we all could step out of our comfort zone and learn a new lesson. Right now, we all could gain skills and knowledge that will last.

It's hard being a single young woman in this world. It's hard waiting. But God has a plan for each and very step. And each stepping stone helps us with the next one.

The OLD me and the NEW me

As I was flipping through my Bible and meditating on some verses, I went from Old Testament to New Testament and back and forth. As I read scriptures, I began to see something...something I maybe always knew but never really noticed.

The Old Testament is my history, my past, my old self. As Gideon struggled to believe God, I struggle with that too. As David went through ups and downs with his struggle against sin and disbelief and spoke truth to himself, I have had to do the same. As Job faced so many trials but still tried his best to still Trust God and not lose faith even with everyone telling him to curse God, I face that in our world today. The struggle to overcome sin, the struggle between flesh and spirit, the agony. The battle that rages between the old self and new self. The doubts that come. The Old Testament reminds me of my struggle and my old self.

In the New Testament, while it still addresses the struggle between flesh and spirit, there are no excuses! The New testament tells me what I need to do to change, and what I was created to be, and how I can trust God more. It is my goal, my direction and my hope. It teaches me to keep going! Not because I am perfect or without sin, but because Jesus is. The old me no longer has a hold of me because Jesus broke the chains, and now I have a responsibility to follow God's ways.

The Old testament and commandments teach us that we need Jesus, we can't follow God's laws on our own, our flesh is weak. But then it transforms in the New testament where we can now be considered righteous because Jesus paid our debt and He makes us able to follow God through His Holy Spirit dwelling in us. Now, we can follow God's Word.

"Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets; I have not come to abolish them, I have come to fulfill them." Matthew 5:17

"Do we then, nullify the Law by this faith? Not at all! Rather, we uphold the law" Romans 3:31

"Is the law, therefore, opposed to the promises of God? Absolutely not! For if a law had been given that could impart life, then righteousness would certainly have come by the law. But Scripture has locked up everything under the control of sin, so that what was promised, being given through faith in Jesus Christ, might be given to those who believe." Galatians 3:21-22

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I'd like to take a moment to say that all of God's Word is applicable today, if it were not, He would not have put it in there. Whether we are studying the history of the world and our people or taking in once again the need for Jesus, all of God's Word is for this day and age. Jesus paid for our sins therefore we no longer need rituals to pay for our sins, or sacrifices, but all of the Word still stands. And for me being a Christian and lover of God, I desire to follow the Whole Word of God, not just the chunks that make me feel better. I may stumble in trying to follow it, but it is still my desire, as I believe it should be the desire of every believer.

Marriage Life

Being married carries such a joyous blessing. Being able to share every aspect of life with someone and always knowing they'll be there forever to see you get old and gray, and still love you is a wonderful feeling.

Marriage is a serious thing. It doesn't come easy, and sometimes it's days are filled with more frustration than love. But, marriage is a reflection of Christ and the church, and I can't help but remember how often God had every right to be frustrated with me (even though that isn't in His nature). God's sacrifice to sill love me and have patience with me even when I was treating Him so poorly, reminds me that through God's power and Holy Spirit I can too love my husband through anything. And because I know his heart, he does the same with me too.

You see marriage isn't an end all. It's a beginning. It's an adventure. It pulls you and exposes your wretchedness. It makes you completely bare before another person, exposing your dark secrets, and shining a flashlight in every corner. Sometimes it can be really scary. I'm not going to lie. Especially when your spouse is a Believer, there is an added challenge set in place. Because then, your marriage isn't about feeling good every day and living in la la land until one of you comes back to reality. When you and your spouse are Believers, the vow you took at your wedding was not just some sweet sentiment...it was a binding covenant that holds in this world and in the spiritual one. So if you think you have the world fooled, just realized, the spiritual world isn't so easily deceived. You can't hide from God. And He doesn't take covenants lightly. Otherwise, how could we rest so firmly on the one He made with us through Jesus?

When our darkness is revealed as a single adult, we bring it to the Lord and ask for forgiveness and work on changing and being better. When you're married, you have to do all that, and also do the same thing with your spouse. Because you are no longer one person, you are no longer the only one effected by your sin and darkness...your spouse either is, or will be effected by it. Because if it isn't addressed, satan will use it against your marriage. Marriage is a covenant reflecting Christ and the church and you better believe satan hates it. Just look at the way he has been working for centuries to change the meaning of marriage. If satan isn't attacking you, be ready for him to be attacking your spouse. And you need to decide before that happens, what you're going to do about it.

Infidelity is a huge culprit in divorces today. Spouses are giving up on each other the moment sin is exposed. Forgetting that not one person is without sin. We are not perfect, yet God never breaks His covenant with us no matter how many times we lie, cheat, blaspheme and walk away from Him. Humans are not perfect, we are incapable of doing good on our own. But when people know the Lord and the Holy Spirit resides in them...then, they are capable. But so many people walk away from their marriages. They forget the covenant. A covenant that does not reflect them and their feelings, but it reflects Christ and the church...the same Christ whose Spirit dwells in everyone who Believes. When we have Christ, we can do all things. We can love through anything. We can pray for those who hurt us. We can confess our sins so we leave no room for satan's schemes. We can, because Jesus does.

My faithfulness to my husband has little to do with him and his performance, or how he makes me feel. When I made my vow on that stage the day of my wedding, I said those words to God as I addressed them to my husband. God is the reason I am faithful to my husband. God commands me to pray for my husband, to respect my husband and to love my husband. I don't obey God for my husband, I obey God for me, because I am God's Girl no matter if I am married or single, alone or in a crowd. I am God's Girl forever...even after death. So how can I place one man's sins above my obedience, devotion and love for God? This man I am married to is just as sinful as I am. To expect anything more is insane. I wouldn't want him expecting that of me.

I want to treat my husband how I want to be treated. When I stumble, I want him to help me up. When I sin, I want him to pray for me and push me to the Lord and back into obedience to my first love. When I am in a bad mood and I hurt him, I want him to tell me. I want him to respect me in public and always have my back. I want him to be an ear for me to share my heart with, even when my heart is confused. Who am I to expect things from him if I am unwilling to do the same for him?

God is the only perfect one in this story. And when I set down my pride and surrender to His will, my marriage becomes extraordinary both in this world and the spiritual one.