My Mess, His Work

I had thought by now in my life I would be a traveling speaker. Or at least have one of my books written. As I look over my life, it maybe could have happened a few places, but I wasn't necessarily ready then. So here I am, still blogging...being a Mom now, my passions have not changed...they've just been put on the back burner...still burning with a fierce fire...but on the back no less.

I look around in today's world and often wonder which people are really being understood, which people can really share everything with someone...and which people are closed up inside thinking no one can handle their mess.

Oh boy, have I been there. I walked around many years never sharing my sin with anyone...and one friend took me aside one Wednesday night after Flood...and she gently listened to my story. After that it had been time to tell my Mom, and eventually I told a best friend. With each out pour of my heart, God did something with my mess. First He gave me a new goal...second He gave me freedom...then He gave me the ability to encourage someone else. Gradually He was using my sin to get work done. James 5:16

I was exposing my sin, and God was doing His work.

The enemy tried to silence me over and over, and even to this day tries to make me think I have nothing to say. But I am not here to be perfect, I am here to be real, and to be changed by God. Every one of us has sin...every single person...whether it's sexual sin, lying, gossip, bitterness, unforgiveness, greed, manipulation etc...we all have it. And it's rare that it ever goes completely away, because once you think it's gone, satan brings it back in a sneaky way and before you know it, there it is again. I am not saying this to be a Debbie Downer...I am saying this to be a True Testament.

Bitterness has been my recent sin...and man do I have to keep that in check. I have goals posted all around my house that say "no fear, no presumptions, no frustration" because there are just sometimes I can get so negative and complain about someone and PLOP, there is that deep dark root of bitterness wiggling his way down in me...and I have to sit down, and work on removing it before I let it grow bigger.

Gossip was something I used to fight too...I would hear one thing from a friend and unknowingly start telling someone's business to someone else...that sin was the hardest to get rid of...it can sneak up on you from other people's sin of gossip...because once Susie starts telling you what Mary did and said and blah blah blah and you're like "oh really, wow...I heard her say blah blah blah...I can't believe her" UGH STUPID SNEAKY SIN! So now I don't even entertain those conversations...I've worked too hard to be a peaceful, loving person...I don't have time for drama or gossip. Plus, don't you notice how yucky you feel after gossiping or being around drama...yeah, that's why it isn't good for us.

To this day God is so quick to show me how to uproot my sin so that I can find freedom. But it takes me sitting down and letting Him examine me...and letting Him expose it. Psalm 139:23-24, 2 Corinthians 10:3-6. Most of the time it hurts, because none of us want to see how bad we are...and then it normally leads to tears and pleading for forgiveness...that's when it get's good...no, I'm being serious...

The good part, is the ugly messy part...that's when (at least for me) I know freedom is in sight...because my body and my mind have now finally submitted to the Holy Spirit's call to change...and I'm completely humbled and literally laying at Jesus feet...knowing I am unworthy. And it is in that place...God fills me to overflowing. I still tear up thinking about how bad I have been, and how good He has been to me regardless. I would have given up on me a long time ago...but here I am...once again at His feet...and He graciously lifts my head and shows me mercy and love.

......

That's why it's so important to know Jesus...because you can't get that anywhere else.

"My sin was great...Your love was greater"

"What can separate us now?"

"What a wonderful name it is, the name of Jesus Christ my King"

"Nothing compares to this"

Don't live another day by the weight of your sin...or the sneaky ways of the enemy...you can let it go...you can change...yeah it might be brought up again...yeah you might have to be careful...but there is someone who can handle all your mess...because no mess is too messy to not be covered by the Blood of Jesus...

"No room for fear...no room for fear...perfect love is living here"