Growing up there were many people who saw God through me. I don't know why He decided to use me for that purpose, but it happened and I am grateful. Today, I still see His hand moving in the lives of people I get to talk with. It isn't anything I say or do, but what God does through me. I can't take the credit for it because my wisdom fails without His Spirit.
He moves continuously in the lives of those around me. People tell me stories of how my writings reached them when I had nothing to do with it, and I just feel so overwhelmed with humility that God would use me in such a way. When I sit to write I think about all the things God has done for me and the words He has spoken to my heart over and over again all through my life from the time I was a little girl. I don't think about changing anyone or making people remember me, I just want to talk about my God. And He uses that, which is just so cool.
Back when I was a young teen God called me to a very hard mission field. He called me to be different and to stand out. In addition to that He also told me to be loud about it, to tell everyone. This created much spiritual tension between me and my peers and even my siblings. I was very open and honest about my convictions and I told those I loved I disagreed with their lifestyles and choices. As a young person this would be brushed off as immaturity, but what it was for me was the start of a bunch of other adventures God would send me on. One mission as a older teenager was to stand firm on my commitments (not having sex and not kissing) when the guy I was heavily talking to asked to kiss me.
Girls who I tell this story to love it, I think because it's the true representation on standing firm on something. Here's the story: The moon was shining on our faces as we cuddled (his arm around my shoulder) in the back seat of our friends car. We had just gone to McDonalds for a late-night snack and our friend was driving us to drop off the guy I was "with". Anyway...he looked into my eyes and smiled and laughed...and being a girl I said "whhhhat?" and he said "what would you do if I kissed you right now?" my face probably quickly changed from flirting Mandy to serious Mandy as I said "I would slap you in the face!" he then moved his arms from around me and was quiet, I said "you know I am waiting to kiss and I can't believe you would even go there"...at this point I think he realized he would not be feeding his physical appetite with me. After that night, I never heard from him again. (Just FYI: We still don't talk but somehow we are Facebook friends. I pray He is following God's Word and serving Him)
After that night I thought about what had happened and I couldn't remember processing his questions and trying to get courage to tell him no...I couldn't remember because when the questions was asked I believe the Holy Spirit took over. If I had thought about it I probably would have apologized and given him the benefit of the doubt. But because I was so set on what God wanted for me, God was able to step in without me having to think about it. Looking back, that moment still amazes me. That could have been the night I gave away my first kiss. But God protected me. I gave Him full reign to step in whenever needed. I made sure I didn't tell God what to do, or how to handle things...because I follow Him, not the other way around, and because my heart was so open to His will-He stepped in when I really needed it.
It's funny to think about because on my way to meet the friend who was driving us I heard God ask me "where are you going?" I felt like the woman at the well when Jesus asked "where is your husband?"...God knew very well what I was doing. And even though I turned up my music to drown Him out, and even though the woman at the well gave Him excuses...He still saves.
My flesh wanted it's way...but my heart could never lie. My heart and my Spirit wanted God's Best, and being in the relationship with that guy was my failed attempt at trying to get the "best" on my own.
I gave up on attempts at trying to "get the best" and left that up to God the summer before I met my Husband, Matt. Then God showed me what His best really looked like. I was way off...but His ways are so so so so the BEST.
If you want to read some of my story....check out this book
I am one of the contributors for the ladies version along with 13 other women. Each of us has a different life, a different background and a different story...but we all were called to be different and we all love God and serve Him. It's an awesome ministry and I am happy to be a part of it!
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