This is a story about purity. A story without an end. A story that you don't hear very much.
I got married less than a month ago. I don't know everything about marriage, or being a wife. But I was a virgin all my life up until my wedding night...and that my friends, I do know about.
I kept my first kiss hidden away until my wedding day. If you were at my wedding, you saw me seal my covenant with my husband.
As rejoicing as people were to see me kiss my husband for the first time, people have not always been rejoicing with me on this journey. Before my wedding, not many people thought it could be done. I had a great circle of supporters cheering me on, but to the world I was living a fantasy. To the world, I was silly and naive. To the world, I couldn't possibly save my first kiss for my wedding day.
Well, world...YOU WERE WRONG!
THIS GIRL, DID!
All my life, I have been a very simple normal girl. I played sports, went to youth group, argued with my parents and had crushes on boys. The difference I had didn't really show until I became an adult. Guys who were interested in pursuing me didn't know what to think of my goals, and I think they were surprised I was still holding to them. For some reason, my generation has a habit of making goals and commitments and not sticking to them. It was hard for people to take me seriously when so many of my peers were already having sex by 16.
Leading up to becoming an adult I was made fun of and called naive and immature for not kissing until my wedding day. To this day there are Christian Authors who discourage talking about it because everyone thinks it's just too hard. The personae of purity is that it makes you a better person if you can say "no". But I disagree. Purity really has nothing to do with saying "no".
The character of purity stems from our Lord and Savior. He bears the character of purity. As believers, we strive to be like Him and in turn bear the same character over time. So just like choosing to love is not just choosing not to hate, love itself is isn't own thing. It is a character and an action. It exists whether it's counterpart does or does not.
Like love, purity exists by itself. It's it's own thing. So purity has nothing to do with saying no to something else. That's self-control. Purity has to be chosen, just like love does. We decide to be pure, which is a character of God. We decide to live a pure lifestyle, through the current life God has given us. How someone loves someone else may look different, and it's the same with purity. How someone is pure may look different. But there is only one TRUE love and one TRUE purity, and it comes from God. We measure love by Gods example, and we do the same with purity. Just like how love can have many different ways of expression like sacrifice, attention, words, acts, protection and care...purity has many different expressions too.
God's purity is that He is without sin, His thoughts aren't clouded, He has self-control, He can say no to things that aren't good, and He sees and says yes to good things. In the same way, purity does this. Purity sets a goal of being without sin. Purity looks for ways to not cloud our thoughts. Purity uses self-control. Purity has the power to say no to things that aren't good. Purity knows what is good and strives for it.
I saved my first kiss for my wedding day, because I didn't want to fall into sin and have sex before marriage. I didn't want my thoughts to become clouded by my physical desires and forget about my heart and spiritual health. I had to use a lot of self-control, and in that I had to say no to things I knew would lead me down a path that wasn't what I wanted. I also had to say yes to things that were good for me, like saving my first kiss.
Purity is a character, and that's why I write this to you today as a married woman who is still on the road of purity. I have to put on God's character to be a helper to my husband. I still have to use self-control and I still have to say no to things that aren't good for me. But I also get to say yes to a whole lot more things that are good for me. I am no longer a virgin in the sense of having sex and I have not sinned in my marriage bed. My husband and I consider ourselves still pure.
If you look in the dictionary one of the meanings of purity is: freedom from contamination.
Basically haven't been messed around with, defiled and made dirty.
Have you been defiled? Are you contaminated? The awesome thing about God being pure is that He can make anyone pure who wants to be. God can erase sins and mess ups, but you have to want it. You have to want Him. He is the source. If you have Him you have access to all things Him. That's the only way I have been able to live the life I have, because of Him. I may have said no to a lot of things, but I faced so many temptations throughout my life, and sometimes I said yes to things that were not good for me, but God showed me how to recover.
Do you want freedom from contamination?
I don't know what God will call you to...and I can't say it would be to not kiss until your wedding day, that's up to God. And saving my first kiss was only a small part of all the ways He called me to be pure. There will be so many other things He will call me to do now that I am married, things that will be of His character and not mine. You may be married, but you are most certainly not beyond purity if you are God's child. You may have already had sex outside of marriage, but the story isn't over for you. You may be a young girl, but God may be calling you early to set your path for tomorrow. God's hands extend to the galaxy's...trust me, He can reach you. His son David sinned over and over and committed adultery and murder, but God never gave up on him. He's the same God today.
I don't know who needs to hear these words, I'm just following God's leading. I get nothing in this world out of sharing my heart on here, but if someone sees the truth and breaks free from sin and darkness...I rejoice with Heaven. Come home. God has always been here. He won't give up on you. His character can overflow on your life not matter your age or status. It's what you really want. Why wait? He may have an awesome chapter to write starting today...just give Him the book :)
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