Learning through life things

I have never really been a girl to like conflict or change. I definitely like things in order with bright colors and smiley faces. But life isn't like that 24/7. Sometimes there will be mountain top experiences, but on a day to day basis we are always vulnerable to be hurt, unsatisfied and disappointed. Everywhere from our jobs to the people we are in relationships with. It isn't that everything is bad, it's just the pure fact that perfection was in the Garden, and when sin entered the world it became this fight for us. A war was waged from that day for our spirits. Then Jesus came to give us new life through Him. But it is only through Him that we are successful and free from that sin. The war is still waging everyday, but if we try to do it on our own, or we get lazy about it, we might fall into temptation. We can't loose our salvation through Jesus Christ but we sure can not experience the blessings.

Once we are the Lords and set about His ways, the road isn't easy. It's like we are in a foreign land. Heaven is our home. A place with so sin, no pain, no hurt and no hardships. But while we are still here...we have to face that sin that changed everything. The people we love aren't perfect, they have faults...and those faults sometimes come up against us because we are so close to them. It isn't that they are intentionally like that, but it is their human nature, just like our own.

I'm leaning more and more about life things the older I get and the more conflicts I go through. Everything isn't laid out, we have to navigate as we go most of the time, and that can get stressful. Sometimes I find it hard to focus only on what God has for me and not try to do things on my own or in my own strength. Sometimes I fail. And sometimes others don't agree with me even if I am following God. Or other people don't see what God is trying to do, and I feel like the only one who cares about it.

Sometimes I am a trial blazer. But I really don't want to be. I want to be the cheerleader. I don't like carrying the burden of being the first time talker. The only one in the crowd that says "wait, we are doing it wrong!" but sometimes I am, and maybe it's just because other people have a hard time seeing it.

I have a plan in my head of how I want things to go and be set up. But I have had to learn to focus on the most important aspects of that, not the details. And even if the details aren't necessarily what I want, that is my opportunity to trust God and be His workmanship. It is those times of details not going perfectly that I have become a better person. I have had to learn new ways to love. I have had to be an encouragement to someone else even though I felt like I was falling apart. It has been hard. But without change...I would never grow.

This is just the start. I guess God has even more things to change in me and make better. I'm continually being refined by His plans and through prayers. Every time I pray earnestly and give something to Him, my heart naturally opens up and when that happens...I can't help but change in a good way through all that God is doing. If I was blind to it, or I didn't open it up to Him...I'd be so far behind and be the same I was before.

Basically, I am glad for the hard stuff.

The end :)