Learning more about faith...

It's interesting how we can know so much about God and be studying Him and His Word and there is still lessons every single day.

Recently, I have been searching the Lord (His Word and prayer) to see what He wants me to be doing. This has been a very emotional process because I tell myself that I don't want to choose something that God doesn't want me to do, but I also don't want to miss what He wants me doing, or fail at it. I get knots in my stomach when I think about the possibilities and how I have no clue as to what He wants. Then today, I read 2 Corinthians 1. I'm trying to go through the Corinthians this month...with it being the 17th, I am now in 2nd Corinthians. Paul talks in this letter about His and Timothy's sufferings for the Word of God. Now, I know that they were facing much deeper sufferings than I am, but they still can be categorized as "sufferings for the Lord". They felt like they were going to die (sometimes me emotions make me feel that way haha) but they knew that God could conquer death, and they knew God had a purpose for them, so they would have probably been okay with dying then if it was God's plan. Then they lifted their eyes (in a spiritual figurative way) and said "But this happened so that we may not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead" 2 Corinthians 1:9 They knew the God they served and that He is in every nook and granny of our lives and that He is trustworthy and reliable.

I trust God. But I think sometimes I try to rely on myself. Forgetting for however long that His very Spirit lives in me, to be my helper and counselor. And so I'm asking myself if being so concerned about if I am in the will of God is really what I should be doing? God is going to guide me, I just have to listen and be in tune. But I also think if He isn't saying much and I am seeking Him actively, then there isn't much I need to worry about. As long as I am continually asking Him to "Search my heart" Psalm 139:23 because "On Him we have set our hope that He will continue to deliver us" 2 Corinthians 1:10

So I am learning more about faith. My own personal faith. How I can rely on Him and trust that He IS ACTIVELY and CURRENTLY guiding me right now, because I am His child and His Spirit is in me and He is trustworthy and faithful! haha, I feel like saying AMEN! AMEN! :)