Being God's Girl

Ever since I was 10 years old I have been God's Girl. I fell in love with Him in those 10 years prior through His teaching and love and examples of lives around me. At 10, was when I decided to be sold out for Him, for my identity to be in Him and to follow Him down any road or path that He called me to. I knew I could trust Him and I made it a point from 10 years old onward to study His Word and share His truth and live my life for Him.

In studying His Word starting so young and deciding to fully follow Him, throughout it I gained so much wisdom through His Word. I didn't have to go though trails to gain the wisdom, His Word gave me His perfect wisdom. 

I spent the rest of the years studying marriages and relationships around me and attended women's bible studies even at the youngest age of 13 where they opened up about their marriages. I don't claim to know everything about marriages, or about God, but I have been blessed to know more than most of my peers throughout my life. I'm not bragging about this, I'm pointing out the truth of being tutors of God at a young age, it really makes a huge difference. When we seek Him and really devote our whole lives to Him, He takes that seriously and He delivers! I've been able to have the blessing of that. I'm very thankful to be able to share that truth in the midst of our current society that says wisdom only comes from experience and trails, it doesn't. It comes from God, and even people with experience and trails still may lack true wisdom. 

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and the knowledge of the holy One is understanding" Proverbs 9:10

This doesn't make be a better follower of God than any other believer, but if someone is working and making money and someone else isn't working and isn't making money, the person working has something the other person doesn't. We get what we put into things, and that is what I believe God wants to point out here. 

"If you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding" Proverbs 2:3-6

So if you were ever doubtful that God actually changes lives and teaches us His ways when we seek Him, let me be that example. 

It may seem crazy to some, and for most of my friends it did at first, but God spoke a lot to me in my teen years about things that I wouldn't fully know the blessing for until I was an adult. Example: when I was 12 I felt led to compose a list of qualities of a man that would be fit for me; my husband. At just 12 years old God wrote out guidelines that would be my hedge of protection and would lead me to my husband. Those qualities are what made my husband stand out from all other men, and yes, my husband has all of them. Sound crazy? it's not, it's God. God can do crazy things when we seek Him, things even beyond our age or understanding.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding but in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight" Proverbs 3:5-6

"Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young but set an sample for the believers in speech in life and love and faith and in purity" 1 Timothy 4:12

There is so much wisdom God poured into me through His Word and through awesome people He placed in my path, wisdom I am now reaping the benefits of. It was beyond my circumstances as a young person, but now as a married woman, as a sister, as a daughter and soon to be as a Mom I am applying the lessons I learned. When talking to older married people they seen so shocked at the wisdom I share, and when they express their awe of my outlook, I have to tell them..."it's actually God He taught me at a young age". 

So no matter where you are in life, no matter what age, there are awesome benefits to seeking the Lord...the best benefit is where we fully follow Him, are sold out for Him and are willing to do anything He tells us to. It takes trusting beyond our own understanding and calling/seeking Him as if for treasure. The benefits will go beyond current curcumstances, and through His teaching and applying it, we can avoid additional hardships, and through the application of His perfect wisdom He uses even the trials for our benefit.

My story is just a small part of His amazing works. 

He does change lives! He does hold up His end when we seek Him! :) 

This is why it is so important

I have seen many articles in response to the recent cases of infidelity and lust causing hurt on marriages. This trend is not new. The sin is certainly not new. And the struggle exists in most men.

I have seen articles bash men for having the struggle, I have seen comments from the LGBT party say that Christians defile marriage, there have been people siding from one to the other, and there have been lots of uproars in social media causing divisions. While sometimes, I believe debating and discussing is a way to know what people really think and believe, in the case of infidelity, I have to say something.

I'm not sure what world people live in thinking a person isn't going to or hasn't struggled with sexual sin. Matthew 5: 27-30 tells us that even if you look at someone to lust after them you have already committed adultery in your heart. No one is exempt from this, unless they are lying. Lust is the natural state of our old flesh, and it always finds a way to rear it's head.

In today's world, almost every young man has or does struggle with sexual sin, idolizing women, pornography, social media temptations, flirting or lust. It is a constant struggle. A man can be doing so good one day and a girl decides to wear revealing clothing and he is reminded of it again. Men are build with a visual drive, and women (mothers) try to treat them like women and tell them they must control themselves for their struggle is WRONG and they need to CHANGE.

The struggle is not wrong.

We have done a disservice to our sons, our men and our husbands. We have told them they need to not be who God created them to be.

When we understand the reason for something, it tends to be more controllable.

Without the visual stimulation a husband wouldn't be turned on by seeing his wife cooking at the stove. Without a sexual drive he wouldn't desire the intimacy only a wife and husband can truly appreciate. Without the struggle of the eyes, a father would not know his daughter shouldn't dress a certain way.

The issue here is not the fact that men are visually stimulated, the issue is that we try to tell them not to be, and then they wonder whats WRONG with them, and beat themselves up for struggling. And the fight becomes harder...until they give in.

This is why it is so important to teach our children and see for ourselves that sex is good. Sex was created by God for a husband and wife to share. Sexual desire is not wrong, it is natural because it's meant for us to desire our spouses. Sex is such a strong bond that from the time most people hit puberty (girls included) they desire it. Just because you may be less "turned on" sexually doesn't mean your child is, just because you never struggled, doesn't mean your child won't. And just because you don't struggle with it, doesn't mean your husband doesn't.

But because the desire is there, until we are married we need to keep it at bay and control it. Knowing it is a desire given by God, but understanding the consequences when we act on it before it's time. Song of Solomon 3:5 tells us to not awaken love until it desires. Our emotions and feelings feed into our sexual desire. If we are throwing around our hearts before we are ready to marry or meet the person God has for us, we are igniting passions we will eventually not be able to control. And for a women, these passions are emotional, and less physical.

To be pure sexually is to know the purpose of sex and sexual desires and emotions and feelings. It knows why God created them, but it also knows that to open it before it's time can be detrimental. Even the slightest trigger can open up a door to passion, one that someone can spend their whole life struggling to control. I personally, know this struggle.

Every Believer has access to purity, because it is a character of God. Purity doesn't say "no" to actions, it says "yes" to God. I never told myself to not desire to be married and have sex, I told myself that "yes" God wants me to keep that in my future marriage. Yes, marriage is the place for sex. Yes, it is good. Yes, God created it for a man and wife to share and to create life through their joining in such an intimate close way.

The moment we start hating ourselves for doing something natural is the moment we have lost. It is natural for a man to desire a women, but that man needs to understand that his desire should be for only one women, his wife. Sex is not wrong. Looking at a woman naked is not wrong...as long as it is his wife. And if a man is struggling with sexual desire, or a past struggle rearing it's head, he needs to talk to his wife about it. The struggle is real. And it is something that can be directed accordingly. Purity lasts all our life, even in marriage. But so does sin. We cannot beat up husbands for struggling with something that is natural. It's something that's shown as soon as you walk out of the house with women wearing revealing clothes and ads everywhere. Men need help, just like Paul did. We need to address the purity, the heart, the direction. If his heart doesn't care for his wife and he has no remorse...that is not just sin, that is a dark heart...and he needs to find Jesus on his own. But if his heart is for his wife and the struggle is there, and he fights it, and is repetitive, who are we to not accept it and help him when we have messed up too.

Infidelity is everywhere, the world calls everyone to make sex and idol and let it control your lives.
It elevates sexual orientation which is a sexual choice. It elevates sex outside of marriage and teen pregnancy which is a sexual choice. Yet it yells at the struggle of a faithful husband struggling to not look at videos and websites readily available. Or telling a guy to not look at a women walking by wearing hardly anything, or to not look at the huge Victoria's Secret store with pictures of women in their underwear. Our culture is ruled by women. They tell men, I'm going to stand here naked...but don't look, and if you do, you're a monster. Where is the talk about women emotionally cheating on their husbands, lusting after other men saying "why don't you be more like Katie's husband!". Women are emotional, so where is the articles about women cheating in their heads and emotions. Where's the articles about women beating down their husbands so far verbally that they force their men to leave.

This is why it is so important to decide to be people of purity. Knowing the struggle is real, knowing the desires will come and having a plan to address them early and set yourself up for success ahead of time rather than asking God for help after you've made your decision. Purity has nothing to hide from God. It reveals our darkest thoughts and moments. If we really desire God's best, we will desire His Word and the directions and helps it gives. He didn't write the Word just for people who struggle, He wrote it for everyone because everyone will struggle at some point.

We need to know sex is beautiful, and that sex is for a husband and wife, we need to know what sexual sin is and what desires are. Then we can be ready for the struggle. Then we need to set goals and rules for finding someone to marry, we must trust God to make it known and seek His will and not our own emotions and desires. Then we must be honest with our spouses and encourage each other to be more holy for the glory of God.

We have to set ourselves up for success. We have to make goals and rules to help us stay the course. If we don't want to struggle with having sex with someone who we aren't married to, we shouldn't have sex before we are married. If we want to remain faithful to our spouse we need to not date so many people. If we want to share intimacy with only our spouse we need to commit to not do physical things before marriage. No matter what rules you make, the struggle will still be there, but your goals and rules will help you stay the course and not get wrapped up in your sexual desire and emotions. Your goals and rules will make it easier to say YES to the right way. But there is no magic switch, there is no perfect potion...no one is without struggle. However, we can set boundaries so that when sin does rear its head in our weak times...that it will be a lot harder to give in.

It's time we encourage the men in our lives instead of telling them what to do. It's time we hold ourselves accountable for our sin and stop pretending like we never struggle.

Choose to believe that sex is beautiful.
Choose to set rules, goals and boundaries.
Choose to be honest.
Choose to let God in before hand.
Choose to seek God's Word for truth.
Choose to be pure.

"All this I have told you so that you won't go astray" John 16:1