Kissing I hear is a very enjoyable thing to do. I also hear you don't really need to like the person to enjoy their lips. Also, people actually think this is true for having sex as well. All physical expressions have become all about
ourselves in our society, haven't they?
My decision to not kiss until my wedding day had very little to do with
me when I first made the commitment. As a young teen I eagerly desired to honor
God and follow His ways. Resisting the physical expression of a kiss until I was able to commit my life to that man, was important to me in showing God how much I wanted His best. To this day, that commitment has helped guard me from a lot of heart ache, bad decisions (and possibly bad kisses). It isn't so much the literal kiss as it is what it means spiritually, emotionally and physically.
Physically: My mouth is the way that I get my point across, it is the way I express myself, the way I sing praises to God and the way I bring nourishment to my body. If someone is kissing me, I am unable to do any of those things while they are kissing me. So, I want to be really sure that the man who is shutting me up, really knows what comes out of that mouth when he isn't in it! I am also a very physical person - hence the boundaries I have set for myself. I anticipated being the kind of person who would have to fight getting caught up with physical expression.
Emotionally: I hear that once kissing starts it is harder to resist the next steps to sex. Emotionally I have always been heightened and I knew that as I got older I would probably fall very easily into some temptation because of the emotional person I am. Kissing is like a deeper doorway into someones heart and mind. I am sure it encourages further sexual thoughts and desires as it plays around with touching and feeling. That must be why kissing is so wonderful, because it is not only and expression physically but it brings you closer to someone emotionally...which leads me to my next point...
Spiritually: When there is kissing you are in each others face, up close and personal. You touch your lips as if to say "I want to be super close to you right now."
Here's a thought: many times we reach a point where we have let ourselves play around on the edge of the cliff and all of a sudden we wobble a little and have that sensation like
"WOW! I almost fell! That was a close one!". I think all physical expression leading up to sex is like that. Seeing what you can get away with on the boundary of sexual immorality.
God made Male and Female relationships for:
reflecting Christ and the Church. Representing His Covenant with us. After I committed to not have sex until I was married, I thought about other things that would bring me close to someone. Kissing seemed like a pretty big thing that would bring me physically close to someone. I already had wondered as a young teen what kisses were like and when I would get one, haha, so I knew I was already intrigued. The boundary had to be set. So I committed to give me husband my virginity and my kiss. I took God's covenant seriously and really thought about how precious I am to Him, and how precious He is to me...and then I had this overwhelming desire to make my husband feel precious and wonderful. That I was all His. A complete package. Like parents await for the day of children on Christmas morning, I couldn't wait to see my husbands excitement.
The commitment I made kept me from a lot of heart ache and temptation. But it wasn't without being misunderstood. I had peers question my knowledge of relationships by asking me
"how will you know you like someone unless you kiss them?" or questioning my knowledge of God asking
"you know kissing isn't a sin, right?" Today, I often get comments like
"God bless you, I would not be able to do that!" or the encouraging comments like
"I wish I had set that boundary" the ones that leave me discouraged are those of praise and then deny it by their lifestyle. There are women I have come to know and talk to that are inspired by my story and want me to share it with others, but refuse to give God the time of day to move in their own lives like that.
**Please don't miss out on this. Purity is accessible to every believer, He has always had plans for you, and He still does. There's no sin or choice that can keep Him from you if you are willing to seek Him and obey what He convicts you of. **
You see, not kissing is not "my thing"...it's
God's thing. I never asked to not kiss. In fact, I think I would really enjoy it!!!! But God calls us to be pure, to keep our marriage beds clean, to be examples, and to treasure Him above all else. I was convinced the best way for me to honor Him with my body was to not sway on my commitment to my husband, but to rather give it everything I had. To view my husband as more important than my physical desires. To this day I have held to my commitment. It has been a struggle, kissing is just a small part of the doorways that lead us into temptations. The temptations have been blazing hot sometimes, and I tripped up a few times but I try to keep fighting. I want my marriage to be an example of the covenant God and I have...and I want to seal it with purity on my wedding day.
This is my story. This is why I chose to not kiss. I do it for the Lord. I can't imagine there is anyone not entertaining physical desire by kissing, but if that's you, and you can say you don't think kissing is physical expression or further bonding yourself with someone physically, emotionally and spiritually, then it's your choice to kiss away a bunch of people. But, I'm going to assume that most human beings are turned on, physically encouraged and bonded with someone through kissing. So just consider who you communicate "I want to be super close to you right now" to.
These thoughts and convictions are applicable on so many other levels, like holding hands and cuddling and to some extent hugs. Take some time to think and pray about what kind of boundaries will help you not play around on the edge of the cliff. Think about what your covenant with God means to you, and how you would really like to honor and reflect that in your covenant with your husband. And I think it is also encouraging to think about how excited and special your husband will feel. :)
